On Familiar Grounds...

Eyes are regaining some sanity after days of starvation, especially on the day of journey home. What a crazy journey it was!! After seeing the rough Mysore crowd there I once again remembered how well-behaved our Mangalore public is. There was a TuLu-speaking family in the same situation like us and they were cursing the crowd in their tongue which only I could understand.

Only one good thing came out of all the ruckus and I saw Mysore in the night-time. But of course the better sight was our own area early in the morning - all vegetation lush green and covered in the morning mist and the dew covered grass made me want to just run and walk on it barefoot. One day I want to come back here and live the rest of my life, I'm sure about it. I'll trade the damn 'great-dry-cool' weather of Bangalore at throwaway price for the humid,sweaty skin of my place anyday.

Went for a walk in the evening to the schoolground and found my old headmistress taking a walk too. Everyone else is fine but even her mellowed-down persona does not remove the feeling of terror hidden down my heart. But she does not seem to think of my student days at all because everytime I've met her, all she knows is that I'm in a decent job and may get a job for one of her kin; this time it is her son-in-law. I understand and will try to do what I can but don't know if it'll all work out for her.

Got my daughter's ears pierced finally, though God knows for what or whose happiness. Even my son who didn't see her cry her guts out can figure out that the ear-rings don't serve any great purpose but my mother will not hear any such nonsense. All she's worried about is that the neighbourhood will ask her why she hasn't done the needful for so long. Grrr...coming to think of it, that's one drawback of my place; everybody wants to know everything of everyone else's life. When I come to live here, I'll pretend to be deaf!

Abhi has taken wonderful photos of the birds around our place and they are so many. But Paradise fly-catcher wasn't one of them and I thought of the trees behind our old house where they were so common. I haven't seen them since I left that place and now with all those trees totally gone, no chances of spotting them either.

Incomplete...

ಐಟಿ ಜನರಿಗೆ ಕೈ ತುಂಬಾ ಸಂಬಳ
ಸುಖದ ಸುಪ್ಪತ್ತಿಗೆ ಅನ್ನುವವರನ್ನು
ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸಿ ನನ್ನ ಮುಂದೆ ತಂದು
ನನ್ನ ಕುರ್ಚಿಯ ಮೇಲೆ ಒಂದು ವರ್ಷ ಕೂರಿಸಿ
ಆಮೇಲೆ ನೋಡೋಣ ಇನ್ನೂ
ಇದ್ದಾರೋ ಇಲ್ಲವೋ ಎಂದು

ನಾಲ್ಕು ವರ್ಷ ಗೆದ್ದೋ ಬಿದ್ದೋ ಕಲಿತು
ಕೆಲಸ ದಕ್ಕಿಸಿಕೊಂಡಾಗ ಎಷ್ಟು ಸಂಭ್ರಮ
ಎದೆಯೊಳಗೆ ಹೊಸ ಪುಳಕ
ಸಿಲಿಕಾನ್ ಊರೊಳಗೆ ಯಾವಾಗ ಹೊಕ್ಕುವೆ
ಹೊಸ ಅಸ್ತಿತ್ವವ ಪಡೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳುವೆ
ಜನರ ಮೆಚ್ಚಿಸುವೆನೆಂಬ ತವಕ

ಕನಸ ಕಂಗಳ ಆ ಹೊಳಪು
ಮಾಸಿ ಹೋಯಿತು ಬರಬರುತ್ತ
ಯಾಂತ್ರಿಕ ಲೋಕದ 'glare' ನೆದುರು
ಉಳಿದಿಹುದಷ್ಟೇ ಗೊಂದಲ
ದಾರಿತಪ್ಪಿದ ತಳಮಳ
ಬೆನ್ನು, ಕತ್ತುನೋವಿನ ಕಸರು

ವಾರಾಂತ್ಯವಾಗಿಲ್ಲ
ರವಿ ಜಾರಿ ಹೋಗಿಲ್ಲವಿನ್ನೂ
ತಲೆ ತುಂಬಾ ಮರುದಿನದ ಪಾಡು
ಬೇಡಬೇಡವೆಂದರೂ ಕಿವಿಯೊಳಗೆ
ಗುಣುಗುಣಿಸುತ್ತಿರುವುದದೇ
'ಮ್ಯಾನಿಕ್ ಮಂಡೇ' ಹಾಡು

ವಾರ  ಶುರು, ಎಷ್ಟು ಮಳೆಎಂದರೂ
ಕೆಟ್ಟ ಬಿಸಿಲೆಂದರೂ
ಹಿಡಿಯಬೇಕು ಆಫೀಸಿನ ದಾರಿ
ಮಗು ಬಿಕ್ಕಿದರೇನು
ಬಂಧು ಬಳಗವದೇನು
ಸುಲಭದ ಹಾದಿ, 'ಸಾರೀ'

ಒಂಬತ್ತಕ್ಕೆ ಜಾಗಿಂಗ್ ಮಾಡುವವರು
ಕ್ಲಬ್ನಲ್ಲಿ ಕೇಕೆ ಹೊಡೆಯುವವರು
ನಮಗೆ ಮಾತ್ರ ಹೊರಡುವ ತರಾತುರಿ
ಹಾಲನ್ನ ಒಳತೆಗೆಯದೆ
ಗೊರಕೆ ಹೊಡೆಯುವ ಪಕ್ಕದ ಮನೆಯ
ಹೆಂಗಸ ಕಂಡರೆ ಹೊಟ್ಟೆಯುರಿ

ವಾಹನದಲ್ಲಿ ಕೂತರೇನಂತೆ
ಅದೇನು ಪುಷ್ಪಕವಿಮಾನವೇ
ನಿಮಿಷಾರ್ಧದಲ್ಲಿ ದಡ ತಲುಪಿಸಲು?
ಬೈಕು ಕಾರುಗಳ ಷುಮಾಕರುಗಳು
ದೈತ್ಯ ದರ್ಪದ ಬಸ್ಸುಗಳು ಎಲ್ಲ
ಹಿಡಿಯಬೇಕು ಟ್ರಾಫಿಕ್ ಇರುವೆಯ ಸಾಲು

ಹೊಗೆ ಮುಖಕ್ಕೆರಚುವವರ ಬೈಯುತ್ತ
ಜಾಮಿಗೊಳಗಾದ ಅದೃಷ್ಟವ ಶಪಿಸುತ್ತ
ಗಂಟೆಗಟ್ಟಲೆ ಕೊಳೆಯುವ ಸಮಯ
ಅಂದುಕೊಂಡಿದ್ದುಂಟು ಎಷ್ಟೋ ಸಲ
ಈ ಸುಖ ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಓಡೋಣವೆಂದು
ಆದರೆ ಬರಬೇಕಲ್ಲ ಧೈರ್ಯ

Back and Forth

Tired to the core after last week's journey and my bones are aching just to think that I have one more to do next week. But I've decided I will - don't know when else I can. Journeys are not fun anymore. You hardly get to sleep lying in all sorts of positions to accommodate the kid and the amount of peace you can get otherwise depends so much on her. She behaved pretty well in the daytime I must admit, though nights were anything but conducive to sleep.

The trip was good overall but as usual left me with a feeling of dissatisfaction that I should've done something else or something more to leave everyone happy. I don't know what it is and may be it's just that the time we spend is too short; even the kid didn't get used to anybody this time, except for her cousin's pair of slippers.

And, I did watch English Vinglish the week before I left, though the images are blurred already. Felt bad for Laurent, all the while knowing that it couldn't have been otherwise. Even if Shashi hadn't learnt English and 'risen' so easily in the eyes of her family, she would've never left them anyway. She would've gone on grinding for them and may have only become a stone at heart one day.

And no, I didn't watch the movie alone, I took my son along. And unlike the Sarod concert, he was all eyes and ears and told me later that it was all very interesting and he wished he could see it once more. And when Laurent was holding Shashi in his arms, asked me if he was going to kiss her!! Wonder where he got such an idea from!

Just like Shashi's niece tells her in the movie, I did experience how judgmental people are with ladies clad in a sari, on the journey onwards. Our compartment had all Tamilians - one set a father and son duo and another, a gang of new software guys going to Hyderabad to meet a friend or something. When P had gone somewhere, the father asked me where he worked, his qualifications and all that and in the end asked me if I was a graduate. I told him that my husband and I work for the same company and I could see he was surprised. Next, one of the young girls wanted me to move so that she could get her berth setup but she didn't know which language to talk to me in, being unsure if I spoke English. I understood and resolved her difficulty by speaking myself and after that she kept staring at me everytime I spoke. But I think had I not plaited my hair or had I applied sufficient make-up, even a saree wouldn't have produced these results. It's just that a plain lady in a sari, cuddling the kid the way I do, evokes certain stereotypical reactions from people.

Wishbone

It's decided now - tomorrow morning I'm going to watch English Vinglish all alone. Mother says I shouldn't even wish to look for any entertainment till my daughter is 4, my father is as confused as I am, V seems busy in her own world and P says he's above all this silly kind of fun. Fine, I say and in a first time attempt for me, hope to watch a movie all by myself. I'm looking forward to it.

Sometimes I think it's foolish to depend on others for your happiness. And sometimes I don't know if being a working woman is more of a bane than any boon; you are trying to be many things at the same time but not really being even one - neither a full-fledged career-woman, nor a guilt-free housewife. And just because you are earning, men seem to think that you don't have any needs at all but it is only their slogging-at-home mothers and sisters and sisters-in-law who need all the understanding and care. I wonder what kind of sunset our generation will have.

We all watched ಸಂಸ್ಕಾರ yesterday and in spite of discussions, some questions remain. Why the supposedly grief-stricken Chandri should seek bodily pleasure instead of pure understanding and support and why one accidental(if it was accidental) transgression should make it so easy for PraNeshacharya to cross other hitherto-sacred boundaries...I'm going to watch more of Kannada movies of this era and genre if I can get them.

Exams are midway and I'm reminded of the perpetual feeling of a knotted stomach, the excitement of carrying Ashu Teacher's fountain pen, the dampner of my sweaty palms and above all, the tension of maths exams. It was unbearable and I would get into all sorts of troubles even for a routine test. I would yawn and yawn and by the time I entered the classroom, I would end up with a severe headache and in 9th standard I even vomitted badly and had to abandon my paper altogether.

Addons

Just as we were recovering, another round of celebrations has begun near our house. The local 'friends circle' has announced its own Ganesha festival and today is the second day! Actually, celebrations run round the year here - there will be Rajyotsava celebrations once on November 1st and another after a month and so on and we are getting used to these anomalies. Before, we would come to know only after the mikes started blaring out of nowhere but this year there have been banners along the road, each containing the best dressed photos of 'friends' urging the people to make it a success.

Today morning the soundtracks were of Premaloka and both mother and I were happy. Most of the songs are my favourites and even now they sound as fresh as they did 25 years ago. It's amusing to recollect that "Ee Nimbe HaNNinantha Hudugi..." was considered not so decent when it was released and while I could never dream of singing it in front of father, I remember mother and other young ladies in the neighbourhood giggling dissecting the lyrics in private. My mother also agreed with me that today the lyrics sound refreshing rather than bad and this goes for so many other songs too.

Morning's Bhagavadgita discourse has a new anchor now - R. Ganesh in place of Pavagada Prakash Rao who had successfully gained my daughter's attention thanks to his collection of beaded chains. She has not taken the change well and protests in front of the TV that she doesn't want the new guy!

Kaveri protests are on full-time today and my son is very frustrated that today is a bundh. Why? Because Monday being his birthday, he is worried that we may not be able to buy his gifts! So he wanted to know the genesis of the protests and I explained to him how much I knew. He was chauvinistic in the beginning and in the end, was disappointed that even the prime minister may not be able to stop the protests today. He is hopeful that tomorrow will be better after all.

I want to see 'English Vinglish' so badly, just to watch my pet Sridevi. But don't know if it can happen this weekend. If not and if I get too desperate, I might take a morning off I guess...

Legacy

Weekend after weekend is passing like a blur and all that I remember about last weekend was the concert. Of course I had guests for good part of the two days, but they were my mother's guests for all practical purpose. And when I left at 4 o'clock for the concert, they weren't very happy!! I didn't bother much anyway.

Concert was...alright. The first one especially I came to like only towards the end and I felt there were instances when he was racing a bit. The second and the third one were better, may be also because there was tabla accompaniment. They played jugalbandi, seemed to be enjoying themselves better and the audience also looked much happier. For one thing, Shiraz Ali Khan didn't look at people even for a second and while enjoying his Sarod, I was forced to concentrate on the handsome Arijit Tagore who seemed to have connected better with the audience. In fact, it was Arijit who got the first claps for a spirited performance in the second piece. I heard some elderly ladies commenting on how Shiraz needed to open up a little and they were comparing him with his forefathers. May be one day I will also be telling how the famous Shiraz Ali Khan was when he started!!

Gandhi Jayanti today and as usual all the channels are airing his relevance. While Gandhiji was not my favourite leader while growing up(Nehru was), I haven't lost my respect for him. I could never understand how some of my friends who along with me sang songs on him and read the same praises as I did in primary school, became his enemies after they entered highschool. Anyone who was upright or reprimanded others when they cheated, had to face the deriding remark, "She is one Gandhi!!" or was chided, "Don't be a Gandhi now!!". But may be it was only part of the teenage idiosyncrasies; I don't remember hearing such remarks later in life.

After watching Mahabharata on TV, my son told me Shantanu was a not a good guy and he was a greedy fellow. I asked him why he thought so. He says, "He married Ganga and Satyavati just because they were beautiful!". I said I agreed with him.

Our minister Mr. Jaiswal said wives lost their charm after a while and just as an uproar ensued, said he was sorry if he hurt anyone's sentiments. Well, he can't do it, even if it's true!!