Went home for a day over the 'long' weekend. The bus stop is as bad as ever with the never-ending flyover work though my father says it's much better now. People are complaining about the quality of construction also. I really don't know who asked for this flyover. We were much better off without it.
Vishnuvardhan died on Thursday and I'm still feeling bad. Not that I've watched many movies of his though I found Nagarahavu tragically appealing. It must be because my father was a big fan of his and I've always thought they looked similar in their youth as well as past it. We had a huge poster of his when we were kids and it was an odd display coming from father who for all practical purposes was a terror when it came to movies. I'm sure he too is feeling bad but I can depend on him not to admit it.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Money Matters...
We're through with one of our loans, finally. If the remaining one goes off in another year or two, I can peacefully retire. Of course my husband has other designs, but I guess he'll have to manage them alone. I don't like my job so much anymore and don't want to slog at it the rest of my life. It's more to do with my inability to cope up than the job itself probably but...I'll hope for the best.
I do think it's quite remarkable that we managed to knock off so much of loan so quickly. Of course both of us work but we have the typical expenses too - Kid's fees, medicals and not-so-well-of relatives who would be glad to be helped and not to mention the mounting cost of city-living. And many a times we are penny wise and pound foolish too. I mean, I would be holding back on my clothes and things like that and then we do some bad planning and end up thousands on air travel. But I think we've managed well so far somehow.
You would think people who've grown up in scarcity would be cautious in life when they grow up and see some better days. I've been one such myself most of my life. But after seeing my maid, I've stopped making any generalizations. 90% of their family income is what she earns working in our house but her first desire after making some money was to buy a mobile phone. I had to remind her that she'd better get an electricity connection first as it wouldn't be a nice thing to depend on neighbours for charging the phone. Even some of the girls back home also aren't any wiser for their tough life. For them style is more important than substance anyday. Quite disappointing actually, especially for P. He feels he's failed to set a good example to them but I feel it's up to the individual to take in the right thing.
The kid is crazy about buses. Thanks to him we've got used public transport which I'm sure we would've avoided whenever we could. He thinks buses are grand and his outings become much more enjoyable when he rides in one. Actually speaking I don't find BMTC so bad now. The frequency is quite decent and the quality is also good. Even the crowded buses remind me of my college days when I used to be a pro in travelling in them and it makes me smile.
I do think it's quite remarkable that we managed to knock off so much of loan so quickly. Of course both of us work but we have the typical expenses too - Kid's fees, medicals and not-so-well-of relatives who would be glad to be helped and not to mention the mounting cost of city-living. And many a times we are penny wise and pound foolish too. I mean, I would be holding back on my clothes and things like that and then we do some bad planning and end up thousands on air travel. But I think we've managed well so far somehow.
You would think people who've grown up in scarcity would be cautious in life when they grow up and see some better days. I've been one such myself most of my life. But after seeing my maid, I've stopped making any generalizations. 90% of their family income is what she earns working in our house but her first desire after making some money was to buy a mobile phone. I had to remind her that she'd better get an electricity connection first as it wouldn't be a nice thing to depend on neighbours for charging the phone. Even some of the girls back home also aren't any wiser for their tough life. For them style is more important than substance anyday. Quite disappointing actually, especially for P. He feels he's failed to set a good example to them but I feel it's up to the individual to take in the right thing.
The kid is crazy about buses. Thanks to him we've got used public transport which I'm sure we would've avoided whenever we could. He thinks buses are grand and his outings become much more enjoyable when he rides in one. Actually speaking I don't find BMTC so bad now. The frequency is quite decent and the quality is also good. Even the crowded buses remind me of my college days when I used to be a pro in travelling in them and it makes me smile.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
A Dog's Life...
I don't know how many mothers manage their children so well but I just don't seem to have that knack. I either let my son bully me or have endless arguments(he's just 5 years old!) or lose my temper and end up hitting him badly. He loves me a lot(I'm second in line for him after my mother, he says) but may be because of that, expectations from me are very high. He wants me to be fully dedicated to him on the weekend. And poor bruised and battered me....
The other day, I was going to buy something from a nearby shop. I was walking on one side of the road and noticed a thin bitch on the other side. It had a collar around its neck. In a moment, it noticed me too and as if it knew me, crossed the road and started following me. I'm fond of pets only from far so I started getting uncomfortable. I crossed the road and it crossed too. Now I tried shooing it away but no, it was like an old faithful. Finally the shop came and I was glad. After I came out of the shop, my first reaction was to lookout for the dog and I was relieved when I didn't see it around. I had walked a few steps and what do I see but the dog on the opposite side again! And more shocking was to see the ray of recognition in its eyes when it saw me. It was as plain as I would see in a friend's eye. I'd never thought I could recognize it in a dog, really. It started following me again and I was somehow feeling sorry for the creature which had mistakenly taken me for a friend. But then some dogs on the way started fighting and it helplessly got involved in it. When I turned back, it was still looking at me and barking...
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Evelyn Teacher's Tail...
I was really that when I was 4-5 years old. Our school was right next to the church and Christian students and teachers used to attend daily prayers in special months. I used to follow the teacher even there and kneel next to her and chant all the unknown Christian Konkani prayers. I think another reason for my having been so attached to her was that I didn't have any close friends. There was Prima, my father's colleague's daughter, that I was friends with for some time. But she left the school after a short period and I was lonely again. I somehow finished the half day of school and came home, slept for a while and spent the rest of the time with our neighbours and with my book. I had none of my age in my vicinity so I think I got more and more attached to books as I grew up.
Nothing significant happened till the summer of 1984. My mother was in the last stages of pregnancy and we had gone to native early. One night in the last week of March, my grandpa suddenly complained of headache in the middle of dinner and passed away the next morning of brain haemorrage. I remember the doctor showing the light in his eyes and shaking his head. I also remember my mother shedding silent tears in the kitchen and my two aunts wailing in two rooms. My cousin Manjanna and me were too young to understand much of it and I remember just running from one room to another not knowing what to do. Grandpa was burnt the next morning but nobody woke me up. I was very upset at that somehow. I don't remember much of him, except that I used to wake him up for evening tea and he used to keep a bottle full of orange-flavoured toffees for us. He had brought Manjanna and me a book each also. I think I look like him.
Then in 10 days, my sister was born. My aunt and mother went to the hospital in Honavar and I went the next morning to see her. My first reaction was to say, "Oh, she's got such chubby cheeks!". Yes, my sister was very healthy, totally unlike me. My mother says even the pregnancy was so much more peaceful for her. Hmmm...That was not my fault, I guess!
Nothing significant happened till the summer of 1984. My mother was in the last stages of pregnancy and we had gone to native early. One night in the last week of March, my grandpa suddenly complained of headache in the middle of dinner and passed away the next morning of brain haemorrage. I remember the doctor showing the light in his eyes and shaking his head. I also remember my mother shedding silent tears in the kitchen and my two aunts wailing in two rooms. My cousin Manjanna and me were too young to understand much of it and I remember just running from one room to another not knowing what to do. Grandpa was burnt the next morning but nobody woke me up. I was very upset at that somehow. I don't remember much of him, except that I used to wake him up for evening tea and he used to keep a bottle full of orange-flavoured toffees for us. He had brought Manjanna and me a book each also. I think I look like him.
Then in 10 days, my sister was born. My aunt and mother went to the hospital in Honavar and I went the next morning to see her. My first reaction was to say, "Oh, she's got such chubby cheeks!". Yes, my sister was very healthy, totally unlike me. My mother says even the pregnancy was so much more peaceful for her. Hmmm...That was not my fault, I guess!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Battered and Bruised...
Visits to the hospitals continue and it's my turn now. My long neck which has always troubled me is in the limelight again. My left side hurts occasionally and sometimes gives me pins and needles. Tablets have helped me at least for now and I hope it'll not have to be anything major. If I have to have an operation, I would prefer to have it when I'm 50 at least!
I think I'll finally continue with my biography. If I keep waiting for my mood to be really sunny, I'll go nowhere I guess. So here I go...
I was a troublesome kid always. I was whiny, thin and stubborn. My mother says there are so many instances when she has had to leave a function in the middle of her food because of my troubles. We were living in a small rented house those days with our owner's house attached to ours and another tenant(father's colleague's family) living in front. Our owner had three children - Rajakka, Poornakka and Vasanna, the last being four years older than me. My neighbours were the only people I was comfortable with apart from my family and I remember running to their house whenever guests came home. Hardly anything could tempt me out of this habit. It must've caused considerable embarrassment to my parents but I don't remember getting hit because of that. To add to all this, I was a pretty sick child too, till I was 4. My mother says that there was hardly any doctor in 20 km radius that they didn't visit on account of my cough/cold and fevers.
I grew up and just before I was 3, was sent off to nursery that we called Balawadi. I think I had started reading and writing quite early and remember decorating the house walls with them. My teacher for the next two years was Ashu Teacher, already in her late 50's and with an enormous patience with the ever-howling children. I cried for many months, I remember. Rajakka or Poornakka usually carried me to the school and it wasn't easy on them. I always cried for mother and the teacher had a tough time consoling me. She tried a lot - giving me sweets, toffees, pencils and whatever she could - but I sang the same old song - that I wanted to go home. I don't know how it started; I started sitting in the first standard class which was separated only by a wooden screen. The teacher there - Evelyn Teacher - was young, unmarried and had a smiling face and may be she reminded me of mother. She told me that she too wanted to be with her mother but all of us had work to do. She made the class monitor bring marbles and colourful chalk pieces for me. So I ended up spending most of my time in first standard itself. I used to follow Evelyn Teacher everywhere so people started calling me her tail!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Recuperating...
Last two weeks have been quite tough, what with 3 out of 4 falling sick with the flu. The doctors said it wasn't the 'worrying' type of flu but of course, we did worry. It all started with a teammate of mine calling me up one fine day to say that she's down with possibly the swine flu and I just went cold. My boss kept telling me it was going to be okay;I'm sure I must've looked about to collapse or something. Those were the early days of the flu in Bangalore you see, we weren't so much 'aware'. Now after two weeks of doctors and medicines, I think I'm much bolder. Hope this is the end of hospital visits at least for some time; I'm tired of seeing them.
One side-effect has been there, though. Both the kid and myself have got used to staying at home and the thought of going to the office makes me sick. If only we had only 10L of loan left!!
Saturday, July 11, 2009
The Departed...
We lost two major figures in our family in the last 10 days. First was my own uncle, my mother's second brother, 67 years old who couldn't win in his battle against cancer. P, V and myself visited him in the hospital only 3 days before and he wasn't so bad at all. Of course he was very weak but he was very clear in his thoughts and was as forceful in his words as ever. He scolded me once and even the nurse was fairly intimidated by him. But unlike before when he would tell us that he's fighting his battle well and wouldn't give up, this time he was clear he was losing it. I felt so sad when he said, "all our hopes are dashed, my dear", I couldn't even say a word of comfort. I wanted to say so many things, how he's been such an inspiration to me whenever I think of some distress, that it's none of his fault that he's got this damn disease and ...what to say! Poor thing, slogged all his life right from his childhood and all he wanted was peaceful life after retirement, to make the rocky area around his house a green land. One who would regularly send postcard letters to all the other members of the family whether they replied or not. Very childlike in his innocence, his ignorance some times...
My earliest memory of my uncle I think is of his showing me his dark hair and asking me not to tell Amma that it was dyed! I don't think Amma would've reprimanded him, though... He used to come to my native once every two years with his family - Atte and 3 daughetrs. He and Atte had a very harmonious life, may be I think because as I could see, Atte was in control of every aspect of his household and he was very happy not to be bothered with anything. He used to call her for every small thing and I'm sure she would feel very odd for some time now not to hear his voice...He was in a big post in UTI but nobody who saw him in hometown could say that; he would just have a towel around his waist and slog like a beast in the fields along with my youngest uncle. I remember sitting in a boat with him at the helm and he took me along our backwaters for quite a while and finally when I had to alight, I slipped and fell into the water and he had to pull me out. He was distantly affectionate towards children, I felt even to his own. May be that was the hallmark of his generation itself.
Next, he used to come to Mangalore every 6 months or so on work and never went without visiting us even if it was only for a quick dinner. Unlike other uncles, he never gave us money but brought all the complimentary things that he would get in his star hotel room. When UTI opened its branch in Mangalore, he invited us for the ceremony. My chemistry teacher, who was an agent himself, saw me with new eyes that day. He even told me that he didn't know I had such connections! After the ceremony we went to Taj Manjarun, a marvel to us and had dinner there and even rested in his room for a while. His driver drove us back home that night and listening to "Aye mere humsafar, Aye mere jane jaan.." with the cool air blowing into my hair is one of the most beautiful memories of my life.
Later when was on deputation in Mumbai, I used to visit him regularly there. They had a good house in Santacruz and Atte made me meet many of my distant relatives who I only knew existed. I visited Juhu beach also and Atte's Hindi gave me a lot of confidence to speak, I must admit.
I feel bad for Amma who of course has a lion's heart, really. Just a week after her son died, her brother died too. It seems he had called up only the previous day to console Amma and then the next day, he went without a noise. I had visited him 4 years ago and he was very happy to know that I was interested in books - he had cupboards of them. My Amma's only remaining brother he was....
And now to add, we've lost another relative and one of the best people we knew. My Aunt's brother-in-law passed away last week after a sudden illness. It's kind of bizarre actually, losing the people you've always admired, respected and loved, one after another. Hope we have nothing more of it at least for a long time.
My earliest memory of my uncle I think is of his showing me his dark hair and asking me not to tell Amma that it was dyed! I don't think Amma would've reprimanded him, though... He used to come to my native once every two years with his family - Atte and 3 daughetrs. He and Atte had a very harmonious life, may be I think because as I could see, Atte was in control of every aspect of his household and he was very happy not to be bothered with anything. He used to call her for every small thing and I'm sure she would feel very odd for some time now not to hear his voice...He was in a big post in UTI but nobody who saw him in hometown could say that; he would just have a towel around his waist and slog like a beast in the fields along with my youngest uncle. I remember sitting in a boat with him at the helm and he took me along our backwaters for quite a while and finally when I had to alight, I slipped and fell into the water and he had to pull me out. He was distantly affectionate towards children, I felt even to his own. May be that was the hallmark of his generation itself.
Next, he used to come to Mangalore every 6 months or so on work and never went without visiting us even if it was only for a quick dinner. Unlike other uncles, he never gave us money but brought all the complimentary things that he would get in his star hotel room. When UTI opened its branch in Mangalore, he invited us for the ceremony. My chemistry teacher, who was an agent himself, saw me with new eyes that day. He even told me that he didn't know I had such connections! After the ceremony we went to Taj Manjarun, a marvel to us and had dinner there and even rested in his room for a while. His driver drove us back home that night and listening to "Aye mere humsafar, Aye mere jane jaan.." with the cool air blowing into my hair is one of the most beautiful memories of my life.
Later when was on deputation in Mumbai, I used to visit him regularly there. They had a good house in Santacruz and Atte made me meet many of my distant relatives who I only knew existed. I visited Juhu beach also and Atte's Hindi gave me a lot of confidence to speak, I must admit.
I feel bad for Amma who of course has a lion's heart, really. Just a week after her son died, her brother died too. It seems he had called up only the previous day to console Amma and then the next day, he went without a noise. I had visited him 4 years ago and he was very happy to know that I was interested in books - he had cupboards of them. My Amma's only remaining brother he was....
And now to add, we've lost another relative and one of the best people we knew. My Aunt's brother-in-law passed away last week after a sudden illness. It's kind of bizarre actually, losing the people you've always admired, respected and loved, one after another. Hope we have nothing more of it at least for a long time.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
At the Back of My Mind...
...Went to the paediatrician today - Rishi is complaining of weakness in his legs for quite some time now and of late, even in his hands. Though he does not give a minute's rest to either of them when he's awake, I think it troubles him in the night so we took him to the doc. He's asked us to do a blood test on Monday just to be assured and it's playing on my mind. Hope all turns out fine.
I don't like strangers who like to ask me too many personal questions but I keep meeting them every now and then. Now, I've got to tell you what happened when I went home last time, it was quite an adventure which could've turned out quite bad. I was supposed to catch the Friday train starting at 9 p.m from City station(I came to know later that it is 8:55). As usual, office held me up till 6:30 and by the time I reached home, ate and started for the station, it was 7:20. I was going alone with a real heavy bag and I knew it was going to be a close call. It started off badly with a mini jam right after I boarded the auto. When P called me up at 8:25 I was still at Richmond getting badly nervous and sticking my head so much outside the auto that the driver had to warn me. He also gave me a sermon on the pros of starting off early to which I could do nothing but meekly nod. My mind had already started thinking of the possible alternatives, if I could return safely back, facing an angry P... When I finally landed in front of the Railway station, it was 5 mins to 9. My platform being at the other end of the station, the driver offered to take me to the back gate which I never knew existed. Thankfully the traffic was kind and when I hurled myself towards the platform, it was 9. There was some confusion in locating the platform and when I pulled the weight and crossed over to it, I realized that the train was just leaving the station !! I managed to pull myself in line with the last coach(the official's) and shouted at him if I could get in. He asked me where I was going, paused for a second when I answered and said, "get in". I cried that I couldn't - the train was becoming faster now - he pulled my bag in and then I did the impossible - jumped into the running train! Ha! I was like a zombie for some time but when I regained my senses, figured that there was no link from there to the other parts of the train! The fears started setting in - what kind of a guy was this, what was I going to do if he turns out bad??? I think the guy(50 years may be) read my face plainly and said, "don't worry, you're like my daughter". Felt a bit better, especially after he kept repeating these words. Then he got to asking my life history, (including how much I earn and all that) told me so much of his and finally Mandya came. I had nothing to give him except for mangoes. Before leaving he smiled and asked me if it was my first experience of that kind and I was like, "of course,what do you think!!". I still can't believe that I actually reached my place that day!
Don't think I can continue on the biography now . I'm feeling like a big writer and I don't have the right mood today!
...Went to the paediatrician today - Rishi is complaining of weakness in his legs for quite some time now and of late, even in his hands. Though he does not give a minute's rest to either of them when he's awake, I think it troubles him in the night so we took him to the doc. He's asked us to do a blood test on Monday just to be assured and it's playing on my mind. Hope all turns out fine.
I don't like strangers who like to ask me too many personal questions but I keep meeting them every now and then. Now, I've got to tell you what happened when I went home last time, it was quite an adventure which could've turned out quite bad. I was supposed to catch the Friday train starting at 9 p.m from City station(I came to know later that it is 8:55). As usual, office held me up till 6:30 and by the time I reached home, ate and started for the station, it was 7:20. I was going alone with a real heavy bag and I knew it was going to be a close call. It started off badly with a mini jam right after I boarded the auto. When P called me up at 8:25 I was still at Richmond getting badly nervous and sticking my head so much outside the auto that the driver had to warn me. He also gave me a sermon on the pros of starting off early to which I could do nothing but meekly nod. My mind had already started thinking of the possible alternatives, if I could return safely back, facing an angry P... When I finally landed in front of the Railway station, it was 5 mins to 9. My platform being at the other end of the station, the driver offered to take me to the back gate which I never knew existed. Thankfully the traffic was kind and when I hurled myself towards the platform, it was 9. There was some confusion in locating the platform and when I pulled the weight and crossed over to it, I realized that the train was just leaving the station !! I managed to pull myself in line with the last coach(the official's) and shouted at him if I could get in. He asked me where I was going, paused for a second when I answered and said, "get in". I cried that I couldn't - the train was becoming faster now - he pulled my bag in and then I did the impossible - jumped into the running train! Ha! I was like a zombie for some time but when I regained my senses, figured that there was no link from there to the other parts of the train! The fears started setting in - what kind of a guy was this, what was I going to do if he turns out bad??? I think the guy(50 years may be) read my face plainly and said, "don't worry, you're like my daughter". Felt a bit better, especially after he kept repeating these words. Then he got to asking my life history, (including how much I earn and all that) told me so much of his and finally Mandya came. I had nothing to give him except for mangoes. Before leaving he smiled and asked me if it was my first experience of that kind and I was like, "of course,what do you think!!". I still can't believe that I actually reached my place that day!
Don't think I can continue on the biography now . I'm feeling like a big writer and I don't have the right mood today!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
New Age...
All set to bid goodbye to twenties...When I think of thirties, I think of Shab and Lakshmi. I had once complained to Lakshmi that Shab tries to be very exact with her age, like saying 27 and a half instead of 28. I was 23 and a half then and didn't mind calling myself 24. Lakshmi had smiled and said, "people tend to do that when they are nearing thirties...". Hmm...it's alright with me I guess. I've had grey hair since I was 18 and I don't think I'll grow wiser...
SeeTaTTe gave us an unexpected visit today. Really a surprise visit. She had called up some time and all that but I never thought she would really want to visit us. Even now I think it's more for Aayi and Amma's sake that she came. Any case, it was nice to have her. Rishi started off with his old stories in no time, V and her husband came, we cooked some good food and it was nice. Got to inform Aayi tomorrow that we indeed touched her feet. I don't know why she thinks we don't even do that much. I would gladly do it to any elder actually...
Postponing the biography by yet another day. Otherwise I may not start my thirties with a fresh face!
All set to bid goodbye to twenties...When I think of thirties, I think of Shab and Lakshmi. I had once complained to Lakshmi that Shab tries to be very exact with her age, like saying 27 and a half instead of 28. I was 23 and a half then and didn't mind calling myself 24. Lakshmi had smiled and said, "people tend to do that when they are nearing thirties...". Hmm...it's alright with me I guess. I've had grey hair since I was 18 and I don't think I'll grow wiser...
SeeTaTTe gave us an unexpected visit today. Really a surprise visit. She had called up some time and all that but I never thought she would really want to visit us. Even now I think it's more for Aayi and Amma's sake that she came. Any case, it was nice to have her. Rishi started off with his old stories in no time, V and her husband came, we cooked some good food and it was nice. Got to inform Aayi tomorrow that we indeed touched her feet. I don't know why she thinks we don't even do that much. I would gladly do it to any elder actually...
Postponing the biography by yet another day. Otherwise I may not start my thirties with a fresh face!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Let's Start at the Very Beginning...
Finally I have the broadband connection back and that too when I had almost given up on BSNL. I hate the way they advertize to get new customers and neglect their old ones. It's the same everywhere actually - don't these banks have different rates for old and new loans? "Tirupati Kshoura" we call it...
Anyways, what I want to do for the next some days is to write my biography as I remember it. I always have the habit of thinking of the past and thinking fondly of it most of the times. My present is not so bad I admit but it's not so happy either, I must say. I mean, there are worries here and there I constantly keep feeling unhappy about the monotony of my life though I just don't seem to have the energy to make it eventful. One bright spot of course is that I haven't given up yet. OK, so the point is that I should write about this past and make myself happy. Here I go...
I was born about 30 years ago in a small place in N.K, both my parents hailing from there though my father migrated to S.K in 1972 to be a teacher in a small place there(which I shall refer to as 'my place' henceforth). My mother recalls that day as having been the first rainy day of the year and it seems it rained very heavily. I used to be quite proud of this fact for no reason. My father is the eldest of his family and as is the trend, his parents weren't too pleased with a girl child. Then to compound the problem, there came the naming fiasco. I was expected to be named Maadevi(custom says that the first girl should be named after the grandmother and the boy after the grandfather) but after my mother's side relatives rejected it saying too old fashioned, was named something else. My grandma of course got very angry and for years never called me by my name, though I don't remember her having been unduly severe on me as such.
Little more on my parents today....My father has 3 siblings and all of them are settled at or around the native place. My father came through a lot of hardships which wasn't uncommon for many in his generation - studying against his father's wishes and finally getting a job as a Kannada teacher in my place at the age of 20. He was one of the first few to have come out of that place and there have been many after him. I've inherited quite a few things from him - fondness for stage,music,sports and nature, my nose, my early grey hair, my laziness, procrastination, I don't know what else...But I think he's ahead of me in all the aspects that I mentioned above!
My mother is the fifth of the seven siblings - 5 men and 3 ladies, mostly settled outside. Same struggle story there too, though because of lack of wherewithal. My grandpa was a poor teacher stuck in the court battles trying to recover his small property from tress passers. Children were hardworking and very united and with generous help from the well-to-do uncles, the sons came up quite well in life. Sisters were adored very well but I'm surprised that they actually gave my mother away in a not so well-to-do family. Must've fallen for my father's good nature which was given more importance in those days at least...
Enough for today I guess. A hard day's labour awaits me tomorrow and I'd better get some sleep....Goodnight!
Anyways, what I want to do for the next some days is to write my biography as I remember it. I always have the habit of thinking of the past and thinking fondly of it most of the times. My present is not so bad I admit but it's not so happy either, I must say. I mean, there are worries here and there I constantly keep feeling unhappy about the monotony of my life though I just don't seem to have the energy to make it eventful. One bright spot of course is that I haven't given up yet. OK, so the point is that I should write about this past and make myself happy. Here I go...
I was born about 30 years ago in a small place in N.K, both my parents hailing from there though my father migrated to S.K in 1972 to be a teacher in a small place there(which I shall refer to as 'my place' henceforth). My mother recalls that day as having been the first rainy day of the year and it seems it rained very heavily. I used to be quite proud of this fact for no reason. My father is the eldest of his family and as is the trend, his parents weren't too pleased with a girl child. Then to compound the problem, there came the naming fiasco. I was expected to be named Maadevi(custom says that the first girl should be named after the grandmother and the boy after the grandfather) but after my mother's side relatives rejected it saying too old fashioned, was named something else. My grandma of course got very angry and for years never called me by my name, though I don't remember her having been unduly severe on me as such.
Little more on my parents today....My father has 3 siblings and all of them are settled at or around the native place. My father came through a lot of hardships which wasn't uncommon for many in his generation - studying against his father's wishes and finally getting a job as a Kannada teacher in my place at the age of 20. He was one of the first few to have come out of that place and there have been many after him. I've inherited quite a few things from him - fondness for stage,music,sports and nature, my nose, my early grey hair, my laziness, procrastination, I don't know what else...But I think he's ahead of me in all the aspects that I mentioned above!
My mother is the fifth of the seven siblings - 5 men and 3 ladies, mostly settled outside. Same struggle story there too, though because of lack of wherewithal. My grandpa was a poor teacher stuck in the court battles trying to recover his small property from tress passers. Children were hardworking and very united and with generous help from the well-to-do uncles, the sons came up quite well in life. Sisters were adored very well but I'm surprised that they actually gave my mother away in a not so well-to-do family. Must've fallen for my father's good nature which was given more importance in those days at least...
Enough for today I guess. A hard day's labour awaits me tomorrow and I'd better get some sleep....Goodnight!
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