Choosing the Right Kind

What is the average age for a man to know the difference between Chiroti Rava and Bombay Rava?

Reminds me that there are so many things I'm yet to teach Rishi! 

The Influencers

If two people are being assessed on a scale of 1(L) to 5(H) and both of them are at 4, and if the first one assesses himself as 5 and the second one as 3, what are the chances that their boss will rate the second one better than the first? And do men and women both see it the same way? I mean, is there a chance that a man would vote the first guy better?

I don't know why a Christian should seek validation from a Brahmin for the fact that she's stopped eating chicken, the only non-veg food she consumed. Further, it only elicits a "Oh, is it?" from the Brahmin lady, which sounds like "So what? It's not like now you can enter my born-vegetarians-only club! And as if you can keep away from chicken for long!"

Jumping the Pattern

I love Rangoli. And I've been conditioned from childhood to consider them sacred. That means I avoid stepping on a Rangoli and feel terrible if I happen to. But it's troublesome in Bangalore. Unlike in my native where houses typically have a compound, here houses are right next to the footpath or the road itself, as the case may be. So when I'm walking in a hurry and there is hardly any space to manoeuvre, a Rangoli is the last thing I want to encounter. I typically curse the creator, hop, skip and jump to avoid stepping on it and if no way out, harden my heart and well, move on.

Another strict no-no is stepping on any piece of paper, it being associated with Goddess Saraswati. It's hardwired now. I was watching Sense and Sensibility once and there is this scene where Hugh Grant's character pushes a map under the table using his feet. I flinched badly and it took me a while to get back to the happenings on screen.

But there was an exception to this paper rule in my house and it was Pappa. My mother who would be very severe on us, would just mutter her displeasure when Pappa tossed a paper aside with his foot. He didn't believe much in gods those days so I guess she couldn't reason with him on that. Now he's a believer but I doubt if he's given up the practice.

Baby Pains

My cousin's wife is at my parents' place, undergoing IVF treatment nearby. It's her second attempt and my mother has been accompanying her to the hospital. From what I hear, it's a really painful process in every possible way. She sometimes falls sick just by the fatigue and pain of it. I wonder if she really wants it so badly even now or it's her family. I don't think I would've gone through it. I would've remained childless. No, I wouldn't have adopted either.

There was a time in my teenage years, when I thought I wouldn't be able to bear a child. I didn't know anyone who didn't want a child, so I thought I would refuse marriage. 

Ground Realities

I bought shoes for rainy season today. And it's the end of October. Felt weird but one's got to walk!

But the walk to Bata showroom itself was a tough task. They've dug up the roads everywhere, it was wet and muddy and suddenly it looked like the pavements had vanished. That's quite routine in Bangalore, though; pavements are either absent by design or are usurped by petty shops and houses. So we adjust and substitute main roads for pavements when we can't find them. But today there was a deluge of vehicles too. I was determined to walk so I kept my eyes firmly on what was coming under my feet, miraculously escaped brushing against any vehicle and marched on. It was a feeling of elation when I hit a decent patch of tarred road.

But footpaths are vanishing everywhere, even in small towns. As vehicular density increases, administration is happy to widen the roads at the cost of footpaths. The effects are already being felt in terms of accidents. 

Longfall

It's raining rather indiscriminately and I regret that I ever asked for more rain in the past. What happened to the October rains of my childhood? Dahlias, gentle showers, smell of earth, rainbow and watching them through the wooden grilled long window of my grandmother's place...

What's the future going to be like, if seasons go rogue like this? What are we - humans, flora and fauna -going to do? I always think of mango trees, how confused they must be.

I'm taking off tomorrow, just to catch up with sleep. 

Burden of Expectations

How should I explain to my daughter that it's not God's fault that she took a pen to show off in school and lost it? It makes me believe that the tendency to shift the blame on others is hereditary.

And yes, I'm supposed to pray that she retrieves it tomorrow. As if I have some influence on that scheming God of hers!

Feeling Hunted

I go to Twitter and read the tweets under Indian Politics and feel like I'm surrounded by a pack of hyenas.

Ayodhya verdict is in a few weeks and it's both anticipation and dread.

Swapna stared at the phone once more in disbelief. Was this a dream? No, there was her mother being her busy self and chattering. But Swapna's senses weren't responding to the gossip her mother was gleefully sharing. The photo, the photo...All she wanted was to be back home right then and strangle Bhaskar, her husband, whose happy face in the photo dared her to do it.

She had left him in his usual busy state to visit her parents barely a week ago. She was happy to get away from the routine till a friend had dropped a bomb. She forced herself to look at it again; a jubilant Bhaskar with a young smiling girl with her hands on his shoulders. Swapna looked away again in disgust. How could he do this! She thought she wanted to cry but she couldn't summon any tears. It was as if she knew in her heart that he would do it one day. But how many times had they both talked about it and pitied other couples who went through it? Bhaskar was always vehement about it; it was wrong to subject one's partner to such an agony. And now? Agreed that they hardly talked to each other these days much less anything else but he should've at least said something! Was there a hint anytime? She struggled to recollect. May be he was a bit moodier than usual but she was tired of his moods  after dealing with them for so long. Was he doing it just to get her attention back? She couldn't imagine herself standing next to him again. She suddenly felt old and left out.

Her eyes wandered to the photo again. That girl...couldn't she have stopped him? Put some sense into that old head of his? Couldn't she figure that he would have children of her age and a wife who...now tears of self-pity rolled down her cheeks and disappeared into her mass of grey hair, which she had opened to oil . A sob escaped from her, startling her mother who was still talking. "What happened, tell me!", she shook Swapna's shoulders, as her tears became a stream. "Oh, it's terrible, Amma...Bhaskar has gone and dyed his hair black!I don't know what to do....."

Late Hopes

P has started keeping the broom erect - instead of lying on the floor as usual - when he finishes sweeping in the night. I watched it for a couple of days and then asked him about the new trend. He paused and sheepishly said his mother had mentioned long ago that if you kept the broom on the floor it led to husband and wife fighting. I couldn't help laughing. But I wonder why he thought of that now, after all these years, especially when our fights are at an all-time low. Better late than never?

I should tell my mother about it I guess. It may help her.

Mark Hurd is no more. It was only last month that he'd gone on leave. 

On Deaf Ears

I don't know why we should have Employee Surveys. Nobody publishes any sort of statistics based on them and nothing seems to change. And since nothing changes, why should the employee feel enthused about giving an honest feedback? It's very silly when all your leadership wants is to make sure they have 100% compliance and nothing else.

Anu has become the latest in the family to keep an alarm and not wake up to it. P is the only exception now.

And before I forget, we flew ths time from Bangalore to Hyderabad, the first flight experience for Anu. She's always been upset that her brother had flown numerous times by her age. If I tell her that he hardly remembers any of it, she says, "That's not the point, I would've remembered! ". So yeah, she enjoyed the hour long flight very much.

Raincoated

Society doesn't take kindly to a woman wearing a raincoat. The one not riding a two-wheeler, I mean. Never mind. The fact is that I love the feeling of  raindrops pattering against my raincoat. Next best thing to getting wet in the rain. 

Tongue-twisting

Spanish, Italian, French, Dutch, Russian, Irish... So many languages juggling in my head and struggling for space... 

I hate the word 'track record', even when I use it.

Reliving the Past

Back from my in-laws' place and I guess it was a success as far as P was concerned. Of course he's still unhappy, but they were able to discuss it without making noise.

I feel as if I've returned to my childhood whenever I'm there. Not in a good way, though. I'm forced to relive some of those embarrassing memories and small fears which I had thought were behind me.

The primary and secondary education in that place has been pathetic for some time and kids study almost entirely through tuition classes, starting right from class I. It's sad to see them mired in school books till they sleep but I don't know if that'll change anytime soon. In our family there are four school-going girls now, aged between 7 and 10, two each of my younger brothers-in-law. For long now, there have been subtle suggestions that we bring the youngest one to Bangalore and raise her here. The kid already lives away from her parents for schooling so they don't see the separation as an issue. But I really don't know if I'll be able to raise another child, unless I leave my job. And P thinks it's unfair to bring only one brother's child and not other's and having four children, we won't be able to do justice to them. The years are just running this way, kids are growing up and I'll surely end up feeling guilty on this one.

The untimely rains are causing all sorts of troubles with the harvest. I was hoping that P would give up on his claims on the land after seeing how hard his brothers have to work for what they earn. But he only said the situation was far better now with all the machinery involved. 

Reeling

One of the most shocking things in life is to see worms inside a tomato. I mean, the sheer impossibility of it! And the fact that for at least some months you cannot afford to close your eyes and cut them! It's terrible!

Sent Packing

We are going to my in-laws' place next week and I'm doing all the running around. Listing, ordering, shopping, packing, giving pep talk on behavior to children...Nothing new but just that I got only about a week's notice this time. Before that P was quite clear we weren't seeing his folks this time. He's been miffed with them since our last visit and has hardly spoken to them decently. Then last weekend my sister-in-law gave us a surprise visit. It wasn't to be a surprise but she had no choice because P wasn't picking up her calls anyway. Her agenda was clear; to make P show himself back home. They argued the whole of afternoon but by the end of it she got what she wanted. But how it'll all turn out once we go there is anybody's guess. Rishi and I are keeping our fingers crossed.