Sunday, February 28, 2021

Homebound

I go home next Wednesday. After the longest gap of 14 months and what's more, V is coming with me. I don't remember the last time we stayed at home together. V is still sceptical about moving around so I don't know what all we'll do but I'm so looking forward to the days. I'll miss some things, though. Hope not entirely. 

I'm going to miss travelling by buses to Mangalore, surely. Hopefully next time. 

Thursday, February 25, 2021

My Cousin S

My cousin G got married and I couldn't attend, neither did V. A few days later my cousin S called to complain about it, saying he went there only to meet V and I and was disappointed by our absence. 

S is my father's cousin's last son. Eight years younger than me and had earned quite a reputation in his childhood. He was a kleptomaniac and kept both his parents and hosts wary whenever he visited someone. My grandmother blamed loss of any of her cutlery on him, with total disregard to the timelines. His father was very short-tempered and his mother had made him live with various relatives, both to try and get him out of the habit and to save him from his father's wrath. 

So it was in 1995 that he came to live with us for a school year. His mother, my father's cousin, was hopeful that he would be able to make a difference. The idea didn't appeal to me at all. I was in 12th and to be mindful of this nuisance in my room was going to be troublesome. Besides, he was a brash child unlike his second brother, with who I had a great rapport. But my mother had decided we were going to help my aunt and so S came home that summer with us, with a small bag of shirts and shorts. 

For some reason Pappa didn't enroll S in V's school, which was at a walking distance. Instead, he went to a school a few kms away, whose headmaster was our friend. I think this Maama used to drive him on his bike daily and I guess he'd been requested to keep an eye on S. I don't recollect that he was much of a trouble in school. 

At home I think he had some trouble, though I hardly remember much of it. I think Pappa hit him once too but he didn't cry. The neighborhood boys liked him well enough. He loved to talk. I remember getting very annoyed with him once because he teased me with Usha Auntie's son. I guess the fact that a boy that small could talk like that annoyed me more, my friends never did that. 

I don't know if my parents had any plans to extend his stay but S put them to rest by stealing my coin collection when he went home during holidays. I remember crying like crazy over it. My aunt of course was sad and she made sure that the coins were restored. S didn't return and I think we were all relieved and I went on to college and hostel and forgot about S for the next few years. The neighborhood boys missed him. 

S since then has gone on to do better. We reconnected much later and are on very good terms. He works as a clerk in a bank in hometown and takes care of his parents. I don't know what memories he holds from that year in our house. 

Wednesday, February 24, 2021

Something New

I attended Maha's wedding today, after much dilly-dallying. She was one of my favorites when she was a colleague and I wasn't sure if I would meet her ever again otherwise. So I went with some trepidation, to be with a crowd after so long. Of course I have reasons to worry now; nobody wore a mask there and I had to reluctantly remove mine after a while with no distancing to speak of. But I'm glad I went. I like her even more now for the kind of simple wedding she had. 

Friday, February 19, 2021

Men are from Mars

I never knew it could be true. I'm annoyed thoroughly and when I am, I let the annoying person know. And the annoying person, in his characteristic style, dismisses it and annoys me even more. Exasperatingly cool. Like my father. So here I am, already at the crossroads I had foreseen. Gosh, March seems so far away! 

Thursday, February 18, 2021

D-Day

It's more than a month since I know D and I'm beginning to think I know him a little now. I of course know a lot of things about him, which I don't think he's told anyone else. And I think he likes the fact that he can tell me and I'm not judgemental about it. Vice-versa too. We're different but we're also similar in many basic ways. Looking back to June now, it's not so surprising that we connected the way we did, across the barriers of age and reputation, quite intuitively. 

Only, there's this foreboding that it's not going to last. Precisely because we're different, in age and some basic ways. I would love to be pleasantly surprised, of course. 

Sunday, February 14, 2021

Misplaced Wishes

My dream robot is the one to which I say, "Chinna, find ABC for me" and it moves around the house up and down(not moving the house upside down) and retrieves it, especially my books and earphones. So that I can continue to misplace them forever. 

The Uplifters

I cannot help smiling, shaking my head. Out of nowhere, my cousin calls and I realize it's her husband who is talking. I've met him only twice before and he's talkative. Today he just made me laugh nonstop for twenty minutes and I don't know how to thank him. I needed that very much. He says my father and I are his favourites in the family. Made fun of all of us in the process. 

Saturday, February 13, 2021

Some History

Rishi is writing NTSE tomorrow and as I soak the green grams, I remember the time I wrote it 25 years ago. My parents had to attend my cousin's wedding and they left me in their friends' care. I remember Auntie giving me the sprouts, saying it enhanced memory. Doesn't seem very long ago at all. 

Friday, February 12, 2021

The Misses

It's strange that I've never met D, despite the opportunities. Many around me have. But who knows, maybe we did cross paths in Mumbai during those five months in 2001, in Lokhandwala complex or SEEPZ... 

I don't like the way we are going about with the new products. Here's a golden chance to set some things right and we're not grabbing it, just being frustratingly short-sighted. 

Tuesday, February 9, 2021

Analysing

I've never been this distracted before. That it should be because of one who would've hated it otherwise is ironic and embarrassing. I should pull myself up. 

Sunday, February 7, 2021

The Calculating Man

D will fly to his hometown in a while but the news is that his dad is doing much better. And just as he figured that, D was back, talking, demanding and being his usual D-self. Made me cry and laugh at the same time. The fellow is far from perfect, and he's smug about it, but he's extraordinary. 

Uncertain

D's father had a nasty fall and will be operated on, it seems. He will travel there tomorrow. What will the brat do now? She'll wait, ashamed of what she wrote to D impatiently, not knowing the circumstances. She'll wait patiently now, not knowing if things will be the same again, even that abnormal normal. Life is like that. 

Thursday, February 4, 2021

Future Tense

I like planning the future. I know it doesn't work out ,especially on the personal front but I still want to do that, maybe because it makes me feel secure in a way. So for the first time in my life, I'm taking it a day at a time. To be honest, future is very obscure right now and if I force myself to look through it, I don't like what I see. So here's closing my eyes to it and living the present. As someone said, "Nothing is easy so let's make the best use of the situation". 

Tuesday, February 2, 2021

In Letter and Spirit

L wrote me a postal letter that reached me today. It was her sudden idea that we start corresponding this way, just for old times' sake. I read it and it's sweet but for some reason I thought it would contain some kind of confession. I don't know what kind. Was it because it would've made it easier for me? It's my turn to write now.