Constant Change

The kid finished 2 years last Friday but the happiness was muted thanks to her ill-health of late. We have been visiting the doctor almost every week for the past one month and she must be tired of the various ointments, creams and syrups we have been trying on her. Hope the new year will be better. This whole week I'm going to be at home so I'm looking forward to spending time with the children.

I'm reading Dalrymple's "White Mughals" and it's an interesting one. I read on in the night yesterday despite my sleep-deprived eyes so my dreams were full of Aristu Jahs, Kirkpatricks, Wellesleys and Nissas. Actually I got it as a gift from a colleague 'Santa' last week and after discovering that I was into reading, he has been flooding me with recommendations of books and authors of all sorts. He seems to be a bachelor with a lot of spare time and I've been trying to tell him that my condition is just the opposite and that I haven't had the pleasure of guilt-free reading for ages now. The problem with being discovered as a person with certain 'tastes' in a workplace where majority is bereft of it is that it makes both yourself and others think highly of that virtue in you.

Thinking of the book, whilst in Hyderabad, I got the feeling that the majority wanted to believe that the Old City didn't exist. I never heard anyone talk of the city's historical past and glory and even Shab was happy only to shop for bangles and perfumes in the market near Charminar. May be it was because most of my colleagues were not from Telangana, may be because most of them were Hindus and did not think greatly of the Nizams and I don't know how far the Hindu representation was there in Nizam's court(in the pages I have read so far, I haven't come across any major figure), may be because of the late Razakar movement...Not that I was greatly aware of my own state's part in it or anything. Now I want to visit the Bidar fort.

Work is dragging and I'm at my wit's end to keep myself interested in the proceedings. Of course being in support has its moments of fun but they are mostly cheap thrills only. I think I should join the German classes next week. The only problem would be if they ask me why I want to learn German. I don't have a definitive reason for it; a new language and may be some new insights into a new culture.

Numbed and Stirred

Just as we were getting used to our daily dose of rape cases and were all set to treat them to be as normal as eve-teasing, the Delhi incident has given us all a jolt. I'm relieved not to hear any remarks on what she was wearing(which I'm sure some would be speculating on) to provoke the beasts and I hope the police have kicked them enough in all the right places by now. What material must these men be made up of? I don't think any other animal treats the female species so inhumanly(the word itself shows that!). I only hope the brutality of the incident doesn't become the new benchmark for us to be outraged and we as a society give such men what they deserve.

Timed Out

Life has been so hectic for the last some days that I feel more like a machine and less like a human being. After trying unsuccessfully for the past one month to start for home at 5:30 every evening, I finally succeeded in bargaining that time to before 7 and that feels like a great achievement. So days and days are piling up behind me, each unrecognisable from the other, and giving me only discontent. Weekends are no better at all and yesterday I was so tired that I had to turn down even an ordinary request of an outing to Lalbagh and Rishi was furious with me, later confessing that he even cursed his luck of having a parent like me. There was nothing I could do about it anyway.

The test series has finally ended and I don't think it will have any serious impact on how we will do from here on. I don't see anybody around who can make that impact either. Espnstar.com has a banner which says that the English deserve a 'desi' welcome and urges the viewers to participate in "Angrezon ki Pungi Bajao' exercise. But everytime I went to check the scores, it was only Englishmen who were busy in the "Pungi Bajao' business and I always ended up laughing.

Thought of writing something today but thoughts seem to have just dried up. Sitting in front of blogger is also a luxury these days; the moment I sit in front of laptop my mother thinks I'm doing officework, my son remembers his videos, my daughter her songs and my husband is upset that I could spend that time talking to him. So most of the times I feel guilty or pressurized and banish the thought of writing anything. Nothing to write home about as such!