14-Feb-2011
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The first vaccination is over and as expected a tough night it was. The doctor advised us to try out the regular "Easy Five" this time and we were ready to face the fever. But we'd forgotten the pain aspect and the kid really cried badly after 2 hours kicking her thigh. It was so bad that I saw my mother crying after a very long time; I don't think she cried during my son's time. Surprisingly I didn't cry; may be I had finished my quota last time around. She was subdued for the next two days but back to normal now.
My husband is in Delhi for the Ukraine visa. Thankfully it's going to be a week's travel; I've had enough of them. My son is very upset with the thought of not having Baba around for 'so long'. I think the arrival of baby has brought them really close. It's as if my son has realized that it's only Baba who dedicates enough time for him. I'm happy for my husband; he adores his son and this is what he always wanted. I could hear the happiness in his voice when I told him how badly his son cried after he left for the airport.
The kid has started observing things around and the ceiling fan in her room is her favourite. She has started smiling now and we are all jealous of the fan because she smiles the most at that thing. Every morning when she wakes up, she would look at it and smile as if it said good morning to her!!
Many people around me are surprised that we went for the second child, me being a working woman. My colleagues have spoken it out too. I have told them it is because I want my son to have a sibling, a feeling of affection and responsibility towards the sibling and some good memories to have through that relationship. I know that I can speak more freely to my sister than my parents and the memories of our times together in childhood and later have brought many smiles to my face and I hope my son will also be as privileged. But I also think I wanted the baby for my own sake too. I mean, I had started missing holding that tiny thing and that feeling of warmth and love that comes out of you whenever you look into your baby's eyes...it's a wonderful feeling, really.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Road to Recovery
1-Feb-2011
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It's been a tension-filled fortnight for us - what with my stitch getting opened with multiple wounds in spite of my doctor dressing it up twice and myself eating enough fruits and vegetables as suggested by her. I even gave up my stomach-belt fearing that it may have caused the whole mess by putting pressure on the lower belly but that didn't help either. On the contrary, now I have a tummy which according to my mother makes me looks 4-month pregnant and to rub it in, my son asked me if I have another baby inside, it seems he wants a brother now!!! I told him as nicely as I could that he'll have to do with cousin brothers who he has in plenty.
May be my doc got frustrated too - after the second dressing, she suggested a homeopathic medicine for the wound. I was a bit skeptical in the beginning but it's worked well for me so far. The wound is healing well and the medicine is Calendula tincture. My mother is thinking of taking it for my uncle's bedsores now.
The kid's acne too is finally reducing. She has put on some weight too and my mother has an easier time giving her bath.
My father will be here next week. Poor thing has been alone at home for so long after many years and it's nice to see my mother already thinking of some special dishes to make while he is here.
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It's been a tension-filled fortnight for us - what with my stitch getting opened with multiple wounds in spite of my doctor dressing it up twice and myself eating enough fruits and vegetables as suggested by her. I even gave up my stomach-belt fearing that it may have caused the whole mess by putting pressure on the lower belly but that didn't help either. On the contrary, now I have a tummy which according to my mother makes me looks 4-month pregnant and to rub it in, my son asked me if I have another baby inside, it seems he wants a brother now!!! I told him as nicely as I could that he'll have to do with cousin brothers who he has in plenty.
May be my doc got frustrated too - after the second dressing, she suggested a homeopathic medicine for the wound. I was a bit skeptical in the beginning but it's worked well for me so far. The wound is healing well and the medicine is Calendula tincture. My mother is thinking of taking it for my uncle's bedsores now.
The kid's acne too is finally reducing. She has put on some weight too and my mother has an easier time giving her bath.
My father will be here next week. Poor thing has been alone at home for so long after many years and it's nice to see my mother already thinking of some special dishes to make while he is here.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Trouble in the Paradise
21-Jan-2011
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All is certainly not well at the moment. I have developed some pain around the stitch. I have been careful not to exert pressure during my toilet trips but coughs and sneezes have not been easy to stifle.Also, doctor may not have known it, but laughing out loudly also hurts equally. Especially if my mother opens her treasure trove of stories of childhood, it's not easy to sit quietly. At one point it hurt so badly that I had to ask her to stop telling me anything funny. Besides, there are mosquitoes in the room, however hard I try to deny them an entry. At one point I stretched myself in a hurry to kill one and I think my lower belly got pulled. God knows, now I'm feeling I became overconfident and did a mistake by not leading a subdued life as advised by my mother. The worst part is I never had any problem last time around so I don't know how to deal with this situation at all. I asked my neighbour how her experience was and she said her second one was tougher too; it took around a month to heal completely. That is a bit of a solace because I reckon I have another week for a month!!
But all this is getting on my nerves I guess; I'm becoming easily irritable. The other day my mother and our maid were having a lengthy discussion on her domestic affairs and the baby woke up. I had just then put myself on the bed and thought my mother would come any time but no, their discussion continued. For some reason this got me so frustrated that before long I was sobbing thinking how neglected I am. I had to pull myself together reminding myself of Dr. Raghuveer's remarks - keep yourself in a happy mood if you want to feed your baby well. My nose got blocked after crying and I was curt with my mother when she came in finally. All for such a silly thing!! I wonder if this is called post-natal depression or whatever they call it.
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All is certainly not well at the moment. I have developed some pain around the stitch. I have been careful not to exert pressure during my toilet trips but coughs and sneezes have not been easy to stifle.Also, doctor may not have known it, but laughing out loudly also hurts equally. Especially if my mother opens her treasure trove of stories of childhood, it's not easy to sit quietly. At one point it hurt so badly that I had to ask her to stop telling me anything funny. Besides, there are mosquitoes in the room, however hard I try to deny them an entry. At one point I stretched myself in a hurry to kill one and I think my lower belly got pulled. God knows, now I'm feeling I became overconfident and did a mistake by not leading a subdued life as advised by my mother. The worst part is I never had any problem last time around so I don't know how to deal with this situation at all. I asked my neighbour how her experience was and she said her second one was tougher too; it took around a month to heal completely. That is a bit of a solace because I reckon I have another week for a month!!
But all this is getting on my nerves I guess; I'm becoming easily irritable. The other day my mother and our maid were having a lengthy discussion on her domestic affairs and the baby woke up. I had just then put myself on the bed and thought my mother would come any time but no, their discussion continued. For some reason this got me so frustrated that before long I was sobbing thinking how neglected I am. I had to pull myself together reminding myself of Dr. Raghuveer's remarks - keep yourself in a happy mood if you want to feed your baby well. My nose got blocked after crying and I was curt with my mother when she came in finally. All for such a silly thing!! I wonder if this is called post-natal depression or whatever they call it.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Big Brother
12-Jan-2011
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My parents-in-law have left and have promised to send other relatives after a week or so. We have counted our stock of beds and bedsheets and it looks satisfactory.
The baby has developed acne on her face, neck and chest. They've come out like rashes and it's a sorry sight. I've prevailed over my mother not to apply oil on her face but I don't think it's helping.
My first activities with the baby have been to test her faculties. After a couple of tests I was sure that her eyesight was fine but hearing remained in doubt for some time. But now I'm assured of that too - the cooker whistle makes her jump and the dog barking outside wakes her up. She squints a lot which is a matter of concern to my mother apart from her colour. It seems one can make out how fair one will be by looking at the ears(!) and by that yardstick my girl does not seem fair enough. I guess squinting is her way of looking at things nearby and I tell my mother that my son was of similar color and she didn't seem worried then. She says it's fine for boys but helps if girls are fairer.
My son is looking very big all of a sudden. It's as if he was a baby till a month ago and now that there is a real baby now, he looks like a grown up - his head, hands and legs all of them. So we are treating him like one and poor thing must've been bewildered by this sudden change. But I must say he's taken it in his stride. We too realized our mistake and make it a point to praise him in front of his little sister and I love to see him bashfully proud.
My neighbours have paid their visits and my son has claimed all the things that they have brought for the baby. His diktat is clear - all the gifts and toys are to be bought only in his name; he will share them with his sister. We are only glad to accept the formula.
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My parents-in-law have left and have promised to send other relatives after a week or so. We have counted our stock of beds and bedsheets and it looks satisfactory.
The baby has developed acne on her face, neck and chest. They've come out like rashes and it's a sorry sight. I've prevailed over my mother not to apply oil on her face but I don't think it's helping.
My first activities with the baby have been to test her faculties. After a couple of tests I was sure that her eyesight was fine but hearing remained in doubt for some time. But now I'm assured of that too - the cooker whistle makes her jump and the dog barking outside wakes her up. She squints a lot which is a matter of concern to my mother apart from her colour. It seems one can make out how fair one will be by looking at the ears(!) and by that yardstick my girl does not seem fair enough. I guess squinting is her way of looking at things nearby and I tell my mother that my son was of similar color and she didn't seem worried then. She says it's fine for boys but helps if girls are fairer.
My son is looking very big all of a sudden. It's as if he was a baby till a month ago and now that there is a real baby now, he looks like a grown up - his head, hands and legs all of them. So we are treating him like one and poor thing must've been bewildered by this sudden change. But I must say he's taken it in his stride. We too realized our mistake and make it a point to praise him in front of his little sister and I love to see him bashfully proud.
My neighbours have paid their visits and my son has claimed all the things that they have brought for the baby. His diktat is clear - all the gifts and toys are to be bought only in his name; he will share them with his sister. We are only glad to accept the formula.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
What's in a Name??
There has been a steady stream of visitors this week - my friend Bhavana, her mother and daughter, my friend Lavanya and her mother, my cousin with his wife, my parents-in-law and our family friend Mayya Mama and Shashikala Auntie. The naming ceremony is on 9th but we haven't finalized a name yet. I've always thought of Aditi as my daughter's name but both my husband and son are not for it - flimsy reasons both - and I can't think of any other.
The baby has not taken kindly to the bath. She howls the moment oil falls on her body and of course not very keen on water either. There are two more girls of the same age group in our building and it's very confusing when one of them cries.
My bath of course is a much more elaborate process. I shamelessly get an oil massage from my mom, she gives me a bath too and the water is piping hot - the rule being that I should be sweating profusely as I come out of the bathroom. My mother silences my objections with a warning that my face would otherwise bloat up. God knows how that is, but I can't take such risks at this age so I just hold my breath as the water almost burns my skin. Anyway, that's not the last of the ordeals. Next I have to hurriedly tie a saree around my waist. This is the stomach belt that gives me support as well as helping me in shrinking my tummy. Next is the worst part. There is a concoction given to mothers in our parts. It is called 'kattaNe' in our language and consists of water boiled along with coriander,cumin, black pepper, dry ginger, nutmeg, clove, dry turmeric and jaggery. The mixture is fiery and I can't help wincing as each short gulp goes down my throat. This makes me sweat some more and with burning tongue and throat I slip under two sheets feeling drowsy and praying that the kid doesn't wake up for at least half an hour more. Of course it's not that I have to put her to sleep or anything; my mother will be right there to do that thankfully.
The name is decided by my son finally. It is Ananya. My mother is not happy but he puts his foot down. There is also a row on how the naming ceremony should be performed. My mother-in-law says ideally there should be four ladies for four sides of the cradle which reminds us that there is no cradle at all. My father parcels my son's through a night bus the next day. The question of ladies remains, though. We don't have the guts to suggest it to my husband who has already established that he does not like elaborate ceremonies. We do venture to suggest the neighborhood ladies as the solution with expected results. After some heated arguments, coaxing and cajoling, we have a workaround - my sister, mother, mother-in-law and myself are the four ladies for the cradle, the priest from the nearby temple will perform the naming and the neighborhood will have to be content with sweets. My parents-in-law go and bring the priest along. My son for some reason is very excited at the sight of the priest; he insists that all the people in the house go and greet him which of course I refuse to do.
The baby and I wear new outfits for the ceremony; the baby being thin, the dress hangs on her body like a bag and my saree being starched cotton, stands out like an umbrella. The priest is in a hurry - at least my husband believes so - and so the naming ceremony gets over quite quickly. The reluctant pair - my husband and son - go out and distribute sweets around. We can anticipate more visitors in the coming days....
The baby has not taken kindly to the bath. She howls the moment oil falls on her body and of course not very keen on water either. There are two more girls of the same age group in our building and it's very confusing when one of them cries.
My bath of course is a much more elaborate process. I shamelessly get an oil massage from my mom, she gives me a bath too and the water is piping hot - the rule being that I should be sweating profusely as I come out of the bathroom. My mother silences my objections with a warning that my face would otherwise bloat up. God knows how that is, but I can't take such risks at this age so I just hold my breath as the water almost burns my skin. Anyway, that's not the last of the ordeals. Next I have to hurriedly tie a saree around my waist. This is the stomach belt that gives me support as well as helping me in shrinking my tummy. Next is the worst part. There is a concoction given to mothers in our parts. It is called 'kattaNe' in our language and consists of water boiled along with coriander,cumin, black pepper, dry ginger, nutmeg, clove, dry turmeric and jaggery. The mixture is fiery and I can't help wincing as each short gulp goes down my throat. This makes me sweat some more and with burning tongue and throat I slip under two sheets feeling drowsy and praying that the kid doesn't wake up for at least half an hour more. Of course it's not that I have to put her to sleep or anything; my mother will be right there to do that thankfully.
The name is decided by my son finally. It is Ananya. My mother is not happy but he puts his foot down. There is also a row on how the naming ceremony should be performed. My mother-in-law says ideally there should be four ladies for four sides of the cradle which reminds us that there is no cradle at all. My father parcels my son's through a night bus the next day. The question of ladies remains, though. We don't have the guts to suggest it to my husband who has already established that he does not like elaborate ceremonies. We do venture to suggest the neighborhood ladies as the solution with expected results. After some heated arguments, coaxing and cajoling, we have a workaround - my sister, mother, mother-in-law and myself are the four ladies for the cradle, the priest from the nearby temple will perform the naming and the neighborhood will have to be content with sweets. My parents-in-law go and bring the priest along. My son for some reason is very excited at the sight of the priest; he insists that all the people in the house go and greet him which of course I refuse to do.
The baby and I wear new outfits for the ceremony; the baby being thin, the dress hangs on her body like a bag and my saree being starched cotton, stands out like an umbrella. The priest is in a hurry - at least my husband believes so - and so the naming ceremony gets over quite quickly. The reluctant pair - my husband and son - go out and distribute sweets around. We can anticipate more visitors in the coming days....
The First Week...
Today is the day of first inspection both for the baby and me. Mine passes off fine enough but the baby has a harrowing time. We are to retest her TSH and it's difficult to hear the cries as they draw a syringe full of blood. My mother is very angry with us for subjecting her to this and hardly talks to us on the way back. Good thing is that the report is satisfactory the next day and my mother is happy that both of us can take bath tomorrow onwards.
The kid is doing fine sleeping most of the day and not so well in the night. My diet this time is better than last - I eat two dosas/3 idlis for breakfast along with coffee, half my usual quantity of rice along with sambar, curry and rich curd for lunch, an apple, a couple of rusks and coffee for the evening snacks and same as lunch for dinner. Of course I long for more, especially in the mornings but wouldn't dare to suggest such a thing to my mother yet.
My bowels are finally cleaned regularly. I had such a struggle for the first few days that I used to sweat at the thought of going to the toilet. On top of that some problem with my kidneys too. I think all because of giving in to some old advice and not drinking water properly. But my mom was not worried at all. She kept insisting that diarrhea is worse!
My sister's mother-in-law, sister-in-law and her husband have come over the weekend to see the baby. The kid sleeps through all our talking and the noise my son makes and it's nice for a change because my son used to be wake up at even the smallest sound.
Here is the kid's photo after the first week.
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