Stitching a Tear

Sometimes I think LK misses P more than she misses me. After all, I entered her life later than P and one of my earliest memories in Hyd are of seeing P and her discussing/cribbing/gossipping early in the office. They used to sit next to each other and were very close till P moved out. But then he had some serious differences with her husband(a colleague) and P took it out on LK unfairly, really. We continued being friends and though she's never asked me directly why, I feel guilty when she says he's become a terrible workaholic who doesn't keep in touch and remembers all his old habits. I chastised P yet again today and for a change he's said he would message her. I'm honestly hoping that this effect lasts.

LK's son has joined the industry! It seems he says she works too hard.

Joy of Meetings

Terrific day today! It started with LK messaging me that she was in Bangalore and had some time to spare. And we met after 15 years. Of course half an hour is hardly enough to make up for all that time but we have been in touch and we spoke what we could. I was reminded once again of how much I missed having her around and it also made me think of A, that I hardly get to meet her too.

And then as I was heading back home and the auto stopped at a signal on MG Road, I looked out to see a lady who used to be among the security at my office 10 years ago. We were very friendly those days. It seems she works with the Metro these days and both of us were thrilled, of course.

And to end the day, SB and I spoke after 18 years! He's still the nicest guy I know. He spoke as if we were once again sitting in ICH and discussing people.

There is some joy in being separated too! 

New Bonds of Old

KR contacted me today and got me added to this group which has people from my first ever project. They are planning a reunion sometime. I'm almost sure I won't make it but it surely made my day, seeing all those people under one umbrella - old, young, revered seniors and fun teammates of that time. And of course, KR, my first mentor and guide in Mumbai, sounding almost the same(but a little like my uncle G, somehow) and looking just like those days! But DPs may be misleading and I may never know.

Right now some difficult guessing games going on. Yo, guess who!

Reminders

It's difficult to be modest today but I'm trying in earnest. Good after long. I'm again reminded of how much these moments mean to me.

Against the Rule

Kid1 : We are playing in our house so I get to set the rules for the game, ok?
Kid2 : Ok...
Kid1 : Rule1 - Nobody does cheating. Rule2 - Whoever wins doesn't show off about it. Rule3 - Losers don't complain about losing. Rule4 - .
..
Kid2: I don't think I want to play this game!

Learning the World

Tomorrow is kids' Annual Day programme. Today a small girl came out of the school crying. It seems one of her classmates told her she shouldn't be dancing because her skin colour was brown. What are we going to do with this?

Small Talk

Kid1 : I have holiday for school tomorrow!
Kid2 : I too have it. But why do we have a holiday?
Kid3 : Because some swamiji died it seems.
Kid1 : What is the meaning of swamiji?
Kid3 : Swamiji means God.
Kid1 : Oh! That means God died now?!
Kid2 : No, not that God who died before! This is somebody different!

Posing for Challenge

The #10YearChallenge - People who were teens or less ten years ago seem embarrassed by their old photos and the ones who are 40 plus now seem apologetic about their current photos!

Quiet Existence

It's been almost half a year since our next door neighbours moved in but I haven't had a glimpse of them yet. It's not that I'm eager to socialize but it's a bit unusual even by my standards. All I see is two garbage bins outside every morning, that's all. The last time we had such quiet neighbours was in 2009 and they turned out to be two drug peddlers from Goa, who got arrested subsequently. Of course the current ones may not be so diverse.

The school construction is happening furiously and I'll be so glad to see it done. I've forgotten how it feels to have a quiet afternoon!

The flower that wasn't!

New Stories

Halubayi turned out well. Next time a little less ghee, may be.

I'm officially named the custodian of Anu's academic performance. I've resisted it for a long time because I'm the de facto custodian of everything else in our house anyway. But P makes a big deal out of her lack of interest in school books and it seems I'm the only one with any leverage(I've begun to hate the word) on her. I got so bugged arguing for the umpteenth time that I said I'll do it. I can be blamed directly now.

Calling Names

What do you call that person who cooks the best when she has the least time to cook? And she has the time to taste the food only when she gets rave reviews about it? And when she has enough time to plan, execute and taste, it feels like something is missing. There should be some name because I'm that person. So it's a bit of a challenge to answer when somebody asks me if I'm a good cook. I'm forced to shrug my shoulders.

Call Me by Your Name reminds me of those many Forster + Merchant-Ivory movies(James Ivory only wrote the screenplay here).  May be the location or the way trees and ponds and nature in general are made part of the story and you feel they are trying to hint at something coming. But unlike there, in Call Me by Your Name society is not meddling with the lovers. There are not even prying eyes around. The only hints of trouble come from Oliver when he whispers to Elio, with nobody at earshot, that they just cannot talk such things and later in the end, over the phone, tells him that his parents would've put him in correctional facility if they came to know. Elio's parents on the other hand are heartbreakingly sensitive and supportive, almost too good to be true.

Why is Halubayi called so? Milk is not an ingredient in my recipe. Anyway, I'm going to make it tomorrow. I've never tried it before and the last time I ate it also was very long ago. I told my mother and she said it was one of her favourites as a child. Thinking of my grandmother and her place, I'm nostalgia personified now and it feels like I'm going to recreate a piece of history tomorrow. We'll see how that goes.

Filibustering

Filibuster and Aprastuta Prasanga in Avadhana must be cousins.

Out of Pity

Why is pity condemned to be such a negative feeling? Why should we hate to be pitied by somebody? Even from somebody who cares for us. I think the misgivings come from a place of mistrust.

Digesting the Issue

I'm not a believer of follow-your-food-till-it-reaches-your-stomach-else-it-will-feel-bad theory. I'm generally the last one to eat in my house, I don't micromanage my food and instead make use of the opportunity to read something. It'd been going pretty well till last year because I had to rush to office soon after my breakfast. But now since I'm alone at home both after breakfast and lunch,my eating time and consequently the sitting-with-a-heavy-stomach time gets stretched. I think that has something to do with my increasing girth. I have had to discard a nice kurta simply because it doesn't fit me anymore! Whoever thought this could happen to me! I didn't.

Child's Play

Boy : Auntie, can Anu play with us now?
Me  : No, not now...
Boy : Why!!
Me  : It's 8:30 and she'll have dinner.
Boy : Oh! It's unfair!!

When Rishi was Anu's age, our floor was full of kids his age and now Anu has plenty to play with too. I love talking to her friends(and I think the feeling is mutual), who also act as my shopping guide sometimes(they can't believe that I don't know what Decathlon is!). Anu's relationship with almost all of them is choppy. She's neither athletic and nor is she a sport so it's not rare for her to storm into home upset. I was not too different from her in my times and I know that she wants to be with the gang nevertheless. But unlike me, she doesn't believe in keeping her feelings to herself and many a times I drag her home still giving a mouthful to her offender, worried that she might have offended the listening mothers. I'm grateful that the kids return to call her every single day and they go to play with yay! ringing in the corridor.

Thinking of this new 10% reservation for economic backwardness, I wonder if cost of living shouldn't have a role to play. They can't equate BCR with Bangalore!

Giving a Chance

I met a familiar face when I was loitering around during my visit home and except that I've seen her somewhere sometime, I don't know much. I didn't ask her for details because for the kind of frequency of my visits and the conversations we have, it really didn't seem to matter. Anyway, she asked me if I visited often and I said no, citing my kids' school and stuff. She asked if both of them were boys and it was as if she had decided it would be so. I got defensive and said no and after that didn't feel like proceeding further. She has two daughters, both of who were watching and hearing us.

The Neighborhood Angels

You have guests coming at 6 o'clock and you are furiously working. At 5 p.m., the doorbell rings and you, not even half-prepared, calm yourself with difficulty and open the door only to find a kid come to call your daughter to play. The feeling of gratitude is one of its kind!

I watched Samantaral. After watching Kahani and Pari, I was slightly annoyed with Parambrata Chatterjee's sweet characters and I watched Samantaral, looking for a change. Sigh! While the movie's heart is good and Parambrata owns it, his hero Sujon is almost angelic and not just simple-minded. I wonder if many can relate to the character. And just when I begin to submit to the idea, he becomes all too human,  decides to shed the charming optimism and without giving his nephew a chance, says that he doesn't want to see another morning. Why couldn't they make him at least a little angry?

Greener Pastures

On the busiest part of 80 Feet Road, a commercial complex houses a college named Green Mountain. Heights of wishful thinking?

We are live!! It's been a flurry of activities for the last 48 hours and it feels odd that everything is finally over. The project has seen so many people come and go, we were like a huge family from Japan to Bangalore, it's been great teamwork and big learning for all of us. Such opportunities are rare to come by and I wish we could all meet together and celebrate. Not going to happen, though.

I fell in love with the old house of the Alvas when I attended the Kola. It seems nobody lives in that house on a regular basis. In fact, none of my present generation of Alvas lives in that place itself, the matriarchs who own the house have either passed away or are old and live with their children and somebody is appointed to keep the place in good shape for some ceremonies. Some parts of that house reminded me of my grandparents' place of old, which is razed down now. I'm grateful that the Alva house still stands majestically.

Desperate Measures

Razia said they were reconstructing the entrance to her rented house and I asked her why. She said no matter how hard they tried, they couldn't save enough money so the relatives and neighbors had suggested that their vastu must've been wrong. The door was ultimately found to be the problem. I was surprised; going by our regular chats, I'd thought they'd done very well last year. I told her the same and this time she said it was more of health worries, as both her husband(dengue) and herself(non-specific illness) had got hospitalized last year. I said I hoped she didn't spend much more on the redesign.

It looks like one can hardly say 'in the last five years' without it being taken as an endorsement or indictment of the government.

Cawing for Attention

I saw a couple of crows on the beach last week and it struck me that I was seeing them after very long. They seem to have been replaced by hawks in urban areas but even in rural setups that I visit, I hardly see them these days. Even on the beach, they were an obvious minority in the group of hawks. I think it's time for a census.

In my childhood, if there was a shradhdha, one of the things was to check if a crow ate the 'bali ede'. Crows symbolised the spirits of ancestors and the head of the family would place the plantain leaf with the ede outside for them to eat and one would keep an eye on it and give the status update to people. I remember people getting anxious if no crow came around for some time, which it ultimately did. It felt like an important part of the ritual so I asked Pappa what they did these days. He also admitted crows were hard to come by and people either didn't bother much or fed the ede to the cows. It felt like the final blow.