Travellers

V and her husband are on a tour of Myanmar. For two weeks. Two weeks! 

Part 2

I'm not good at sulking. I move on. So it must've been a month after my meeting with AG and I had started to get comfortable in JC. May be the heavy workload helped me, Islamic Financing had receded into history. Then one fine morning, my deskphone rang and the display said VG. VG, AG's boss, the head of our Engg. and one who had no fathomable business to call me that day. I picked up the phone, introduced myself and he came straight to the point. He was calling up to confirm the request that I be moved out of Engg. into Support. I didn't understand a word of this. In the past few months, there had been frequent rumors of my moving into some team or the other and it was common for my colleagues to message me or stop me in the pantry to ask about it. It had been amusing but coming from VG, it sounded like a bad joke. And how come nobody - RR or AG at least - had talked to me first? I gathered my wits and said there seemed to have been a mistake. I hadn't put up any such request. He seemed annoyed and said but he had received it. I asked him who had conveyed it to him. He said it was MR, his counterpart in Support. I had no time to ask how MR could speak on my behalf. I just proceeded to tell VG firmly but also a little desperately that I had no intention of moving out of Engg and I was definitely happy with what I was doing and I wanted to continue doing it for the foreseeable future. I don't know what he thought of the mess but he said okay, that was settled then. He said he was dropping the matter and I needn't talk to anyone about it. The call was over.

I sat in my seat, dumbfounded. I had never spoken to MR in my life. My ex-boss had joined Support a year before and was keen that I join him there. I had politely refused but he had said he would continue to try to get me there. Was this his doing? But this thing was almost like an extradition! I was angry. And what would RR think of me if he heard about it? Would he believe that I didn't want a movement? I once more sat in his cabin, this time to tell him that I wanted to stay put in JC. He was bewildered and that was some solace.

On RR's advice, I next told AG the whole story. His first reaction was to ask, "My boss called you directly?"! Yes, he did. Okay, AG didn't know how this happened either but he was amused. I wasn't. I told him I was going to speak to MR and that was the only thing remaining now. He shrugged his shoulders.

I messaged MR next. Luckily he was working in the next block that day and he said why don't I come over. I went into the big and empty meeting room he had occupied. It was a bit creepy somehow, in that dimly lit space. I wanted to finish it off quickly. So I told the story one more time and asked him how it had transpired. He asked me who brought up his name. I told him it was VG. He had a strange expression on his face, I couldn't read it and his response was vague. He said they were reviewing my profile(part of a mass review) and going by what I'd put, VG thought I was more interested in customer-facing role. Then he proceeded to give me a short marketing talk on Support. It hardly answered any of my questions. I didn't want to go on. I said right now I was going to stick to Engg and thanked him for the offer. He said I needn't talk to VG about it anymore, he would take care of that. I left, feeling a little dazed.

It's been four years for me in JC now. MR has left the world since then and AG our company. I had a sort of image-altering talk with him before that. But I still don't know the truth about that day.

Old Story - Part 1

The year was 2015 and we had just finished our almost-exclusively-Islamic-Financing release. It was my first real brush with Islamic Financing and anybody who's used conventional and Islamic both can tell you that they are quite like apples and oranges. It was a tough release with terribly insufficient time but with P being on the other side and discussing with me daily, I had felt a connect by the time we finished. The next release was going to bring in more changes and I was already deep into analysis, when one fine day RR, my current boss, called me to say that I was moving into JC. I was outraged. There were other reasons apart from my wish to stay with Islamic Financing. RR was going to be my sixth boss in fifteen months. The lack of continuity was frustrating. Also I had received my worst rating ever in these months and I had begun to feel that everyone wanted my work but no one wanted me. And then JC wasn't really new to me. Because most of my old team had moved there, I had been involved in the design of almost everything of Loans, officially or otherwise. And I had even been roped in for the fire-fighting for a month. Now that their big release was over, what was left for me to do! Anyway, RR was reputed to be the nicest boss around so I decided to take a chance. I sat in his cabin and told him I didn't want to move into his team. His face fell. I told him my problems and I said I had no issues being a consultant as I had been all these days but I just didn't want it to be my primary job. He listened to me patiently and said, "I get your point. But much as I would love to have you in my team, I didn't put in a request for you, you know. There were other peers of mine who did but it was AG, my boss, who decided that you should be in JC. So... ". He stopped but I knew what that meant. So, are you going to plonk yourself like this in AG's cabin too?

AG. The elephant in every room. He had many reputations but none that gave me confidence to explain this whole thing to him. Our bosses used his name as a terror tool but could he really be all that? I had been in his cabin a few times and though the discussions were typically one-sided,  he had not been foul-mouthed as they said. But what if he just shouts me out? In front of everyone..  I had a feeling he didn't like my work. Anyway, it felt like I had entered a tunnel and it was better to reach the other end than returning. So I told RR that I would talk to AG and let him know. I think he gave me some tips on AG-etiquette but I don't think I absorbed any of it.

So the next day I sat in AG's cabin, facing him nervously, hoping that the call he was on would go on longer. Getting his time had been surprisingly easy but once inside, all my reasoning had begun to look silly. What was a senior like me doing, being so petty? Whatever, but once he said, "Tell me", I told him everything. I said I would do ten more things parallelly if he wanted, but I didn't want to move. Our conversation was also somewhat one-sided, with me doing most of the talking but he let me know in the end that he was the boss. He said it was not possible. He had put me there on purpose, Loans being very crucial to to the project's success. His directs were appreciative of my approach to work and that was going to be important in the coming days. JC was going to take all my time, I would have to work more than I possibly ever have and there was going to be no negotiations. I left the room dejected, informed RR about my defeat and joined JC. 

Brain Twister

I was waiting in Thippasandra for a bus a couple of nights ago. A family joined me in waiting and as I looked at them, I guessed they were Bengalis. An elderly woman, a young woman and a young man carrying a baby. After a few minutes, the older woman spoke to the young one in very clean Kannada. I was surprised; a Bengali speaking in accentless Kannada! Just when I was re-assessing them, the young woman replied in Bengali and their conversation continued in that language. Now I didn't know what to think; may be what I heard first wasn't Kannada at all. My ears may have tricked me? I was all set to blame the noise of the traffic when it was the young woman's turn to converse in Kannada! They continued that way and left me thoroughly confused. It was as if they were mocking at my guessing game. It hasn't happened to me since a young man from Uttarakhand spoke to me in chaste Kannada and embarrassed my notions a decade ago. 

I wrote to Rajani today after long. I wasn't sure if I should write at all and even more unsure of finding a reply. But she replied. And she's a pain as she's been for the past few years, opaque and stubborn. But I miss her. Thinking of all those days, the possibility that I may never meet her again is chewing my heart. 

Dance Night

On the way back from a dance plus dinner outing with the team. It was terribly loud music but after the dance I overheard my name. After such outings people typically say that I surprise them. I don't know what I come across as otherwise.

Anyway, lots of fun. I love my team. And I don't think I need to drink to get high. 

Follow-up

I went and bought the Kindle version of The Handmaid's Tale. It's becoming a habit, buying the base versions. But for a change, I liked the series better than the book. "Blessed be the fruit" etc. are much easier on the senses when you view them, somehow. And of course the second season is totally new. Makes sense because it almost felt like Nick-Nama to me and Nick isn't so much of a big deal in the book.

The school next-door has given me a new job; monitoring its overhead water tank. It overflows periodically and I first pray that it stops quickly. Because water falling like a waterfall is nice only if it's a waterfall. But most times it doesn't go away. It goes on and starts playing on my mind. I can't concentrate on what I'm doing and my legs send me to the balcony. Next is the hard part. I start waving my hands frantically at anybody who may come out to the school corridor, hoping to grab their attention. I have been successful a couple of times but mostly it's frustrating. I clap too, but to no end. So I curse the whole thing and go to the school gate to complain. I think I should get their number next. But I wonder if it'll just make them more irresponsible.

Going to Pieces

I went to Indiranagar after what seemed like ages and the 100 Feet Road looked like a strange place. The roads are all messed up and left that way, as if they don't know how to restore them. If they had pulled down a couple of buildings and added a gloomy sky, it could look straight out of a dystopian novel. 

Extravagant

I binged on The Handmaid's Tale on Friday night thinking the weekend would be all mine. Then I get a call from my relatives on Saturday that they are coming. It's two people initially but the number ends up being eight. So here I am, with swollen eyelids, with Monday looming large already. 

Out of Sight

I deactivated my Twitter account last week. Not like I was doing anything there apart from reading what came up. But sometimes even small pleasures become pricy and I thought it wasn't worth it. I'm missing it though, my daily dose of good, bad and ugly news. 

Pandemic Feelings

The new Coronavirus is serious enough but equally serious is the number of conspiracy theories floating around. I guess if the Chinese  really want to know how others perceive them, there is no better time. There is an alarming and also disgusting amount of venom in people's minds. 

I don't think Kannada can ever match Hindi's richness in terms of expletives. And how much one can speak using only those expletives. Knowledge courtesy - Netflix series Jamtara.