Butterflies

There are only three people who make me feel self-conscious when I talk to them. I guess it's just that I want to impress them badly but it never happens that way.

Live Dreaming...

My life seems to be caught in a web of unending daydreams, vague hopes, false promises and dull realities...I'm just mesmerized by the routine and unable to summon the energy to break it. Is this called mid-life crisis?

Mallikarjun Bande passed away yesterday after some fight. Smiling and smart in his police uniform...and so sorry and odd on his deathbed...Can't they be protected against such injuries?

Something Cooking

I think ours will be a generation where many of our native recipes which had survived centuries will die an unceremonious death. It may have happened to some of them in the past generations also but I suppose the number will be much higher with us. Once we cross 30, we get too worried about how sick we are soon going to be and just get confused with what we should eat. We use olive oil, gulp green-tea with trouble, eat coloured rice, look for anti-oxidants in everything and make sure to check the labels for zero-cholesterol. I think we all need some more of physical labour.

We finally finished Gulabi Talkies. If actors like Umashree are there, directors will have half their job done. We watched Vamshavriksha also. I like Bhairappa's old novels much better.

L took Dracula in the end. Hope she likes it. There is one thing that's puzzling me about her, which is her treatment to her father. She loves her mother dearly but I find her hardly civil to her father. Of course she knows him better than I do but I've never seen her talk like that to anyone else. I'll ask her about it some day.

Stability

I'm getting irritated with myself again. I'm trying to be happy doing this and that but somewhere I find myself unhappy or may be, dissatisfied. I think the first thing I should do, which will give me a sense of control at least, is to leave office by 6:30, on most days. Wish me luck or will.

This Ashes series has been all about the menace of Mitchell Johnson and while rightly so, I've liked Haddin more. He has been more consistent than his top-order fellows but the best thing he's done is not letting the English have any sense of achievement by the end of an Aussie innings. I think that plays a big role when they come out to bat. Today he did it again along with Smith.

I've put on almost 8 kg in the last one year! The number shocked me because the only time I had ever gained weight before was during my pregnancy and I had shed it back immediately after. Now I'll have to struggle to keep myself at 58. Not bad yet may be. 

Just another promising new year...

New year again and old list carried forward. I want to travel, I want to meet new people and talk to people from different countries. I don't know why I have this bug in my head. Anyway, I've always wanted to do that and as L came and told me about her fellow-students from all over the world, I envied her for some time. And...I want to stay alone for a while in a foreign country. Of course I won't be able to do it now but at 45, may be...

L wants to take a book this time too but I don't know what to give her. I think most of the books I've read this time are sad and she doesn't want any of that. Only other kind that I know are some Victorian novels or Wodehouses and I don't want to give them. May be I'll try "Of Human Bondage" on her.