Morning Blues

I hate it when people let the elevator close even when they see people coming through the door. How inconsiderate!

Slices of Life

Wish we had ex-employees meets just like we have alumni meets. I would very much like to see how some of my old colleagues are doing, especially the ones from my first company.

I'm almost done with the 'The Reluctant Fundamentalist'. Very engaging for a monologue. Throughout the book, there is a tone of "I know you well but you don't know me" which sounds vaguely familiar. I'm curious about Pakistan somehow. For one thing, they don't go gaga over our great 'culture' that is the typical theme that others indulge in. To me that sounds so hollow and makes me cringe.

I've got a lady colleague of mine who is under the scanner for being irregular regularly. You give her something to do and you never know when it will get finished because she's just not in the office half the time. People obviously get upset but even my boss says he can't do anything because every time he decides to be tough with her, she bursts into tears and tells him about her sick child or father. All of us are human beings after all, with young children and old parents of our own and so one ends up uttering words of moral support and hoping her situation improves. But it does put more pressure on the already struggling team and thanks to someone like this and some more incompetence from others, I end up going home late, feeling guilty towards my parents and my children.

I read somewhere that hope is one of the hallmarks of youth but I don't understand why they should lose it so easily to take their own lives! I look at old women begging on the road - women who can barely walk, who seem to have nobody to care for them and who should have really nothing to hope for - and they seem to want to live more than some of these younger people!

Beehive

Testing of our new release is about to commence and the whole floor is buzzing with quiet activity. The other day when there was a short period of network disconnect,you should have seen how the busy-bees came out of their cubicles. There was smile on everyone's face, movement, chatter and everything and once the lines were restored, it was as if someone had switched off something; all back to their seats with their heads bent.

This kind of distractions are hard to come by. Everyone is hard pressed for time;I don't know how we manage to be that way every time! Today there was our quarterly fire drill. Even for that half an hour, people came out as if fish out of water, lazily out of their cool cocoons to fill out the ground. When the 70-year 'young' fireman's voice boomed and echoed around, it strangely made me lose focus by its sheer volume and took me back in time to the days of Scouts and Guides, Independence Days and Republic Days, and the speeches that echoed against the walls of the Taluk Office.

Realignment

Of course there is no rule that a fellow who is religious should also be virtuous. Then why does it bother me when I see someone who sports vermillion mark on the forehead doing all sorts of nonsense?

Ruffled Feathers

I wish I were a guy! If I were, I wouldn't have to be morally responsible for anything - for example, if a guy takes care of the kids, what a good father he is, and if he doesn't, anyway it is his wife's job by default!

I was supposed to attend a wedding reception last Saturday - not in Kerala or anything, right in Bangalore, mind you! - but I gave up and it's still smarting. It's frustrating, I mean, do I have to fight for even such a thing as that?? And not that I attend every wedding that someone invites me to!

Life is such a mad rush these days that I can't remember whether I saw someone today, yesterday or last week!!

By the way, today is my official birthday!

Mirror Mirror on the Wall...

Over the time, does it happen that you look better in the mirrors at home than elsewhere?

Side Effects

I lost twenty rupees thanks to election results today. Got too engrossed watching it on TV, got late and reached the back-gate two minutes late to find it closed. Had to reach the office by auto.

I love watching election results always. The numbers dip, jump, swing, stabilise or whatever and it's a lot of fun.

Moody

Sometimes I miss an elder sibling. Just like that. Just wondering if they would've pampered me.

Endangered Expressions

My first big camera was Canon Rebel 2000 given to me by P in 2002 and I just love it. I still remember how Shab and I went berserk for the first few days. But the problem is that it is a film(can I call it analog?) camera and I'm worried that soon I will stop having studios who develop the photos. In Bangalore, nobody has refused so far but this time I went to BCR, I couldn't find anyone who sold a roll and it was very annoying. But I did read somewhere that analog photography is being revived so I guess sooner or later India will also come a full circle.

Being in the circle of people who speak the language is very important for it to retain its originality, right? Take my own case for example. My father migrated to South Canara where our friends and neighbours were mostly non-Havyakas and even where we met Havyakas, since their flavour was different from ours, we spoke in regular Kannada and not Havyaka. As a result, my parents themselves stopped using certain words spoken in their native place and replaced them with regular words and so V and I never had them in our vocabulary. Of course I know them because I hear them when I go to Honavar but if I use them, they sound strange. The question is if I should let it be or get them back into our life.

I cannot vote tomorrow because today I found that my name is no longer in the voter-list. I'm feeling very silly and angry with myself for not checking it earlier but I assumed that it would be there anyway since I voted the last time!

Played chess with P after ages and it was good. In the year we got married, we used play it very often and with the kids, the frequency fell badly. We have vowed to play regularly so as to make Rishi pick it up. Coming to think of it, I just can't recollect who taught me the basics of it. I give up and think I learnt it by watching Pappa and Shankarmaava play it every summer. Shankarmaava is the best I have played with so far and even today if I visit him, he would want to have a round of it. I must play with him next time!

Here is a snap of Hyderabad as seen from Golkonda, again making me wonder what Nizams saw from there .

Life's Like That

People are leaving in numbers and you feel odd for some time and then you move on. What choice do you have anyway! These days when I go upstairs for lunch, I don't even feel like looking around because there is hardly anyone I can recognise even if I do. You build acquaintances over the years, you become friendly with some, you have a good working relationship with others and when they leave, you become upset. With some of them, I suspect it's only because it is going to put you into some inconvenience but with others, you feel bad because you'll just miss seeing them around. But of course I can't expect people to stay back just to say Hi to me and so life goes on.

Rishi asked me yesterday if God existed and if so, what proof was there for that. I said while I personally believed in God, he was free to choose for himself. Probably I would've given a defensive answer but he kind of caught me off-guard. Though he religiously adorns the photos with flowers and garlands, makes sure to light the lamp everyday and draws pictures of Ganesha etc., I had suspected that this question would come some day.

Rishi, by the way, is happier these days. We fulfilled his wish of seeing around Hyderabad this time by visiting some of the places in his textbook - Golkonda Fort, Charminar, Salar Jung Museum and Mecca Masjid, albeit in a single day. I was thrilled to see Golkonda somehow, though it's my second visit and the time was woefully short. Charminar gave us some anxious moments thanks to the narrow, dark and steep staircase and also made me sad just to look around. Wonder how the landscape would've been once upon a time!

For Posterity

One of my favourite videos...

Rishi when he was two and odd.