Faith Quotient

Right now all I want is to regain the faith in myself; faith that I will be able to do the small daily things that I set out to do in the morning, which mostly end up pending. It's important to me, as it is to P and the kids.

Workplace is gloomy. All one can do is pretend that things are as usual.

P has been coming home late for the past few days. Though when he's on time, his contribution towards chores seems hardly a fraction of what I do(it's a subject of constant debate in our house), when he's late it feels that I end up doing so much more and I feel exhausted. May be it's more about frustration; that he can afford to forget home when he needs to which I can never.

Aayi is complaining that Pappa is becoming very temperamental. She says he's becoming more and more like my grandmother. That is not a pleasant thought.

One of the favourite one-liners - only one line of tune/lyrics remaining in memory.

A Day Well Done

Felt like a festival after a long time. Tired.

Let there be Light!

Shivamogga Subbanna's rendition of this song had been my favourite in Primary days and when I heard that it was sung daily as a prayer in the High School I was going to, I was quite thrilled. And to top it, my gang was chosen to sing it for the whole school. But when we began practicing, it was a huge letdown; the tune was an entirely different one and even some words were unfamiliar. I remember singing it with a total sense of detachment all throughout those three years and now I realise that I can't even recall that tune.

Rajani is returning to US after a week's break and is as usual unhappy. There was a time I would've fretted over that unhappiness but now I suddenly realise that I just don't care anymore. I feel light.

Uneasy

How to shake off this feeling? That you couldn't do it any other way but it's still unfair? 

The Hidden Lives

My boss is frustrated. This silly nonsensical nothing-on-email policy has finally got to him. I know how it feels because he has been preaching it to me for some time now. We are just making ourselves a target for ridicule, that's all. Anyway, before finishing the call he still said, "Be very careful when you deal with these people!" and frustrated me. I can't! And though he used plural I know he meant J specifically because he's the one I'm 'dealing with' these days. I don't want to be careful of J and treat him like a thug. All he's doing is working hard to get new business for us and he needs help and I need work. And I don't mind going an extra mile for that.

Today I kept getting the error "The trust relationship between this workstation and the primary domain failed". Seemed pretty apt.

I sometimes feel abandoned by Netflix. It's like all they are interested in are teenagers and old-agers. I mean, people beyond 70. What about women my age? Too uninteresting? Actually no, they seem pretty busy solving crimes - Paranoid, Marcella, Broadchurch, Deadwind, Ultraviolet...

I liked Deadwind. 

School Days

We watched Sa.Hi.Pra.Shale...over the weekend. It's actually a joyride around the beautiful place with the language issue thrown in. I would've preferred to have some songs removed to add some meat to it and the characters of Anant Nag and Ramesh Bhat totally eliminated from the story. Why couldn't it be the village's story end-to-end? Children are cute and Anu, who had declared that she was coming with us only to eat popcorn was hooked throughout. 

Truth or Dare

At the kids' corner, ages between 6 and 8 -

Girl1 : Hey, you lied to Didi!
Girl2 : It's none of your problem. Anyway, lying is much better for us than telling the truth.
Girl1: But all mothers say lying is bad!
Girl2: I don't believe that. My friend liked this boy in her class and when she told her mother about it, her mother slapped her. Then when she lied about it, she said okay okay. You see?