If last month I thought my life was hectic, I would call that life very decent now. Things have really taken a worse turn. My husband now travels to Whitefield everyday and is almost a visitor at home except for the weekends. And predictably he's very tired over the two days or wants to read some more about the work so they are almost gone too. So days are passing like a whirlwind for me managing my time between the schedules of the other three. My husband leaves home at 7:30 and does not appear back before 9 in the night. He sleeps around 10:30 and we keep each other company till then. My son wakes up at 7 and leaves for the school at 8:15 and returns at 3:15. He sleeps around 8:30. My daughter wakes up anywhere between 5:30 to 6:30 in the morning and goes to sleep in the night around 7:30. So I, forced to wake up with my daughter, see my husband off after breakfast, get my son ready for school and cook his lunch, put my daughter to sleep and rush to office around 9:30. Life in the office is hectic too, what with the damn list of never-ending issues. I rush back home around 2, reach home and gobble my lunch and give my daughter a bath and put her to sleep. Then I take stock of his school activities from my son who's back by now and make something for him to eat/drink. By this time my daughter typically wakes up and I put her back to sleep and if I don't sleep off in the process, I get to write my blog,read newspaper or go to the shop to buy something that has been missed out over the weekend. But those days are rare and most of the times I write imaginary blogs and mails and have monologues with my friends while I'm putting my daughter to sleep.
The evenings are even more hectic thanks to the swinging moods of my maid and her health. I feed my daughter,play with my son and her, also get my son to study and rehearse it, cook food for the night, feed my daughter again, get my son to finish his dinner, put my daughter to sleep, accompany my son to sleep and then, finally get to sit quietly on the sofa and wait for my husband to arrive.
The only silver lining, if I may call it so, is that the stock market is pathetic and my serial, worse than that. I mean, otherwise I don't know what would have happened to my spare time at all!
Friday, December 16, 2011
Sunday, December 11, 2011
End of an Era
My dear grandmother is no more. I knew when it happened we would all feel very sad and it was inevitable someday but yet because it has happened so soon it is making me feel worse. I may take no real solace in the fact that I met her in October because that was hardly a meeting. In fact my last few meetings have been on similar lines owing to the fact that I'm always in short supply of time when I visit my native place and especially my maternal grandmother because I have to dedicate more time to my paternal grandmother's place which, to be frank, I have no interest in visiting. So I hardly remember what I said to her but I do remember that she wanted my daughter to be a big doctor just like one of the ladies from Karki who had made it big abroad. She was irritated that she could not find the newspaper to show that lady to me but she was mighty impressed with her.
That was my grandmother always. She was so active and alive to what was happening around her, in the world. She came from an educated family, all her four brothers very well read and doting on her. As far as I was concerned, I think I always loved her dearly, intuitively, even before I really understood anything. I lost my grandfather when I was five and the loss was felt more in the bitter tears that I saw my mother and aunts shedding. So it was my grandmother for us after that, like a mother hen in that big house which would be so full during two months of summer holidays. My family, sans my father who always managed to keep himself busy in holidays, would be one of the first ones to reach our native place though my paternal house was invariably the first destination. My mother was very clear about it and I spent my time there mostly with my father's cousin sister's family and always facing my grandmother's ire for it. But there was nothing to do for me in my father's place; there were no books, no magazines, nobody to play with and nobody to talk to. All my grandmother wanted to do was to oil and comb my hair and my grandfather, well, though I have seen him in his very good and really bad moods, was hardly at home. Compared to this, my aunt's place just below our own was heaven; it had books and though I laugh at them now, my idle mind devoured all those cheesy criminal stories and pathetic melodramatic plays that used to be stacked up in that house. Of course there were better options too; all of them played chess very well and I learnt my chess just by watching them play. And my uncle was a very good storyteller and could make us laugh to no end with those silly stories and he was very patient with us too. So when my grandmother's angry call pierced my happiness, I would sulkingly run to curse my food and again run off in the evenings to another happy destination - my mother's friend's place. More about it some other time.
Now, coming back to my maternal grandmother - so it was after spending some 2 weeks of this life that my mother would permit me and later my sister to go to her place, when one of my aunts/uncles/cousins came to fetch us. I was always very glad to see them and was impatient to leave but my joy was mostly shortlived, because I could not bear to spend the nights without my mother. It sounds very childish now, but even till my 9th standard, I remember crying bitterly in the nights thinking of my mother who looked so near yet so far(it was 8 kms distance between the two places) and my sister and I alternately would cry and console each other. My older cousins tried hard to help, Manjanna tried to get me out of it by making royal fun of me but it was no use and once my finally exasperated grandmother asked me why the hell I came there at all. I think that shut me up for that season.
My grandmother was not the kind who was mushy in her love for children. I don't remember her ever cuddling me, hugging me or calling me with any of those sweet names. But she was that way with all her 18 grandchildren and I didn't mind it at all. I do remember the occasions she was upset with me - she rarely had the time but once when she combed my hair, she got angry with my tantrums and gave it up never to do it again and once more she was really angry with me for insulting Goddess Lakshmi by cutting my nails in the evening. But I always knew she loved us, even when she called me plainly, 'Tangi', as was the practice. She was busy in those days, cooking this or that for the clan and the visitors but she always asked us about our studies and about the people in our place she knew. There was general freedom for the children which we did not misuse as such and there was so much to do. Children were entrusted with so much of work like seeing the cows off for grazing, overseeing the calves, calling one or the other uncle from the coconut plantation, bringing something from the nearby shop, posting letters, guarding the huge load of coconuts when they were cut and dried, picking arecanuts, being proxies in some mandatory ceremony in the neighbours' place and so on. We always felt proud in discharging these duties and we were pampered with delicious mangoes after we returned.
I could go on and on like this because some of the best memories of my life are built around my grandmother's place of which she was the backbone. We were financially struggling in those days and the 20 Rupees she used to give me meant a lot to me. When I joined college, she was worried because she had read about ragging in the newspapers. Engineering gave me offseason holidays so for the first time I spent time with her when nobody else was around and helped her in the only Ganesha Chaturthi I attended there. She was eager to know about college life, was irritated because her vision had slightly deteriorated so she could not read easily. My marriage must have given her pain but she never spoke to me about it. I never felt her love change because of that and it meant a lot to me.
I think the best thing about my grandmother was that she never forced her views/herself on anybody. Her children adored her and she had a cordial relationship with all her daughters-in-law and a very close alliance with the daughter-in-law she stayed with. I've never heard her quarrel or talk cheaply about anyone. Even when she criticized someone, she was always smiling as if to say, life is like that. She saw the world change and took everything in her stride, even when all her brothers, a loving son and a dear granddaughter passed away. I think the biggest blow to her must have been when her youngest son broke his back and I had thought he would die in front of her very eyes and that would kill her. But she didn't let that happen and passed away quietly. I wish there were more like her. I wish I could be like her.
That was my grandmother always. She was so active and alive to what was happening around her, in the world. She came from an educated family, all her four brothers very well read and doting on her. As far as I was concerned, I think I always loved her dearly, intuitively, even before I really understood anything. I lost my grandfather when I was five and the loss was felt more in the bitter tears that I saw my mother and aunts shedding. So it was my grandmother for us after that, like a mother hen in that big house which would be so full during two months of summer holidays. My family, sans my father who always managed to keep himself busy in holidays, would be one of the first ones to reach our native place though my paternal house was invariably the first destination. My mother was very clear about it and I spent my time there mostly with my father's cousin sister's family and always facing my grandmother's ire for it. But there was nothing to do for me in my father's place; there were no books, no magazines, nobody to play with and nobody to talk to. All my grandmother wanted to do was to oil and comb my hair and my grandfather, well, though I have seen him in his very good and really bad moods, was hardly at home. Compared to this, my aunt's place just below our own was heaven; it had books and though I laugh at them now, my idle mind devoured all those cheesy criminal stories and pathetic melodramatic plays that used to be stacked up in that house. Of course there were better options too; all of them played chess very well and I learnt my chess just by watching them play. And my uncle was a very good storyteller and could make us laugh to no end with those silly stories and he was very patient with us too. So when my grandmother's angry call pierced my happiness, I would sulkingly run to curse my food and again run off in the evenings to another happy destination - my mother's friend's place. More about it some other time.
Now, coming back to my maternal grandmother - so it was after spending some 2 weeks of this life that my mother would permit me and later my sister to go to her place, when one of my aunts/uncles/cousins came to fetch us. I was always very glad to see them and was impatient to leave but my joy was mostly shortlived, because I could not bear to spend the nights without my mother. It sounds very childish now, but even till my 9th standard, I remember crying bitterly in the nights thinking of my mother who looked so near yet so far(it was 8 kms distance between the two places) and my sister and I alternately would cry and console each other. My older cousins tried hard to help, Manjanna tried to get me out of it by making royal fun of me but it was no use and once my finally exasperated grandmother asked me why the hell I came there at all. I think that shut me up for that season.
My grandmother was not the kind who was mushy in her love for children. I don't remember her ever cuddling me, hugging me or calling me with any of those sweet names. But she was that way with all her 18 grandchildren and I didn't mind it at all. I do remember the occasions she was upset with me - she rarely had the time but once when she combed my hair, she got angry with my tantrums and gave it up never to do it again and once more she was really angry with me for insulting Goddess Lakshmi by cutting my nails in the evening. But I always knew she loved us, even when she called me plainly, 'Tangi', as was the practice. She was busy in those days, cooking this or that for the clan and the visitors but she always asked us about our studies and about the people in our place she knew. There was general freedom for the children which we did not misuse as such and there was so much to do. Children were entrusted with so much of work like seeing the cows off for grazing, overseeing the calves, calling one or the other uncle from the coconut plantation, bringing something from the nearby shop, posting letters, guarding the huge load of coconuts when they were cut and dried, picking arecanuts, being proxies in some mandatory ceremony in the neighbours' place and so on. We always felt proud in discharging these duties and we were pampered with delicious mangoes after we returned.
I could go on and on like this because some of the best memories of my life are built around my grandmother's place of which she was the backbone. We were financially struggling in those days and the 20 Rupees she used to give me meant a lot to me. When I joined college, she was worried because she had read about ragging in the newspapers. Engineering gave me offseason holidays so for the first time I spent time with her when nobody else was around and helped her in the only Ganesha Chaturthi I attended there. She was eager to know about college life, was irritated because her vision had slightly deteriorated so she could not read easily. My marriage must have given her pain but she never spoke to me about it. I never felt her love change because of that and it meant a lot to me.
I think the best thing about my grandmother was that she never forced her views/herself on anybody. Her children adored her and she had a cordial relationship with all her daughters-in-law and a very close alliance with the daughter-in-law she stayed with. I've never heard her quarrel or talk cheaply about anyone. Even when she criticized someone, she was always smiling as if to say, life is like that. She saw the world change and took everything in her stride, even when all her brothers, a loving son and a dear granddaughter passed away. I think the biggest blow to her must have been when her youngest son broke his back and I had thought he would die in front of her very eyes and that would kill her. But she didn't let that happen and passed away quietly. I wish there were more like her. I wish I could be like her.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Addicted to....
Trading! I knew people in my office traded even during working hours and I used to think quite low of them but now I wonder if they are just not able to come out of that addiction. Because I've got hooked to trading in the past one year and I know how bad it can be. Nowadays the market is swinging like a pendulum so my obsession has receded a bit but a couple of months ago...
Suddenly in my life I find myself doing things that I never thought possible. I've started watching a serial, that too not a serious, issue-based one as such. I think I'm a diehard romantic and added to that, I also realised that I'm quite a fan of Mohnish Behl. And yes, I've got addicted to cooking!! I mean, I want to cook something new every weekend and I must say I'm enjoying it. The results have been mostly good and at times not so but it has not dampened my appetite for more. My son is the biggest beneficiary of these experiments and the biggest critic too!
My daughter is walking and walking well. My maid has a terrible cold for the past month or so and the kid has been the victim. Well, the only solace is that she's eating well, almost everything that we eat and seems to be loving it. In fact, if we eat anything not giving her, she protests and comes to eat us!
Suddenly in my life I find myself doing things that I never thought possible. I've started watching a serial, that too not a serious, issue-based one as such. I think I'm a diehard romantic and added to that, I also realised that I'm quite a fan of Mohnish Behl. And yes, I've got addicted to cooking!! I mean, I want to cook something new every weekend and I must say I'm enjoying it. The results have been mostly good and at times not so but it has not dampened my appetite for more. My son is the biggest beneficiary of these experiments and the biggest critic too!
My daughter is walking and walking well. My maid has a terrible cold for the past month or so and the kid has been the victim. Well, the only solace is that she's eating well, almost everything that we eat and seems to be loving it. In fact, if we eat anything not giving her, she protests and comes to eat us!
Friday, October 28, 2011
Maid of Honour
We tried out homeopathy medicine for the first time for our maid whose cold and cough are just not going even after 20 days. Though the doctor assured her that the cough would go in two days(that was 5 days ago), nothing has happened so far and I can see that she would want me to take her to another doctor next time. But with the recommendations that I've received for homeopathy, I want to continue with it for some time.
Coming to maids, I don't know how it happened that way, three out of the four maids I've had so far have been illiterate, the other one having flunked her 9th standard. I asked my current one to learn reading at least but she says she does not need it! She was very eager to own a mobile but I don't see the same eagerness in learning to operate it on her own. She's very content asking me to check whose call she missed and if the battery is low etc which I would like her to do herself. It's sometimes funny just to observe her mannerisms and thought processes. She's proud of the fact that she owns a camera phone whereas neither of us has one; if her wish prevails, she would want every jazzy stuff that our neighbours have bought by us too; she loves gaudy colours as a rule; she wants my children to be under her firm control(once she fought with me that my 4 old son cries when I go out of the house!!); never wants to admit that she's done a mistake, however big or small it may be; is very clean both in person as well as money matters; hates chocolate in all forms because it looks dirty!
My maid, her mother and both her sisters and all the ladies in her house(she has only a nephew for a male member) have worked in some or the other house almost all their lives but all of them still live a hand-to-mouth life. She had worked for a good salary for the whole of last year yet when she had to come here, she had to borrow money for the travel expenses of 400 rupees. I asked her what happened to all her earnings and she says some of it she's given as a loan to somebody and the rest of it simply vanished for running the house. Life in a village is painful as I can see - people drop into the house from nowhere and can stay on till they please if they are close relatives. Hardly anybody helps you in real need but will do anything to spoil your chances. My maid has almost singlehandedly got a decent house built for herself and her mother but now she says there are two more permanent residents and innumerable people who pile on every day. The PDS system in her place is the worst I have seen - their BPL card gets grains at a price higher that what an APL card in my place gets! And what they get is hardly enough for the month even for the card members alone. But one thing, whether good or bad I can't say, is that she is not worried about the future too much and is very happy with the current state of affairs. When I look at her in such state of bliss, it makes me have another look at my own life and the worries that are almost constantly at the back of my mind.
Coming to maids, I don't know how it happened that way, three out of the four maids I've had so far have been illiterate, the other one having flunked her 9th standard. I asked my current one to learn reading at least but she says she does not need it! She was very eager to own a mobile but I don't see the same eagerness in learning to operate it on her own. She's very content asking me to check whose call she missed and if the battery is low etc which I would like her to do herself. It's sometimes funny just to observe her mannerisms and thought processes. She's proud of the fact that she owns a camera phone whereas neither of us has one; if her wish prevails, she would want every jazzy stuff that our neighbours have bought by us too; she loves gaudy colours as a rule; she wants my children to be under her firm control(once she fought with me that my 4 old son cries when I go out of the house!!); never wants to admit that she's done a mistake, however big or small it may be; is very clean both in person as well as money matters; hates chocolate in all forms because it looks dirty!
My maid, her mother and both her sisters and all the ladies in her house(she has only a nephew for a male member) have worked in some or the other house almost all their lives but all of them still live a hand-to-mouth life. She had worked for a good salary for the whole of last year yet when she had to come here, she had to borrow money for the travel expenses of 400 rupees. I asked her what happened to all her earnings and she says some of it she's given as a loan to somebody and the rest of it simply vanished for running the house. Life in a village is painful as I can see - people drop into the house from nowhere and can stay on till they please if they are close relatives. Hardly anybody helps you in real need but will do anything to spoil your chances. My maid has almost singlehandedly got a decent house built for herself and her mother but now she says there are two more permanent residents and innumerable people who pile on every day. The PDS system in her place is the worst I have seen - their BPL card gets grains at a price higher that what an APL card in my place gets! And what they get is hardly enough for the month even for the card members alone. But one thing, whether good or bad I can't say, is that she is not worried about the future too much and is very happy with the current state of affairs. When I look at her in such state of bliss, it makes me have another look at my own life and the worries that are almost constantly at the back of my mind.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Going Native!
Days are just flying! The last time I had started writing this, I was all set to go on our journeys and now it's already 10 days since I'm back! Well, it looks like ages ago that I went home! Don't know when I'll get to go next because I'm all set to join work next month and no leaves this year for me as I've exhausted all of them. My daughter will give a tough time to my maid for sure but thankfully I have half-day work at least for the next six months.
The trip to my in-laws' place got cancelled because of this Telangana business. I hate those idiots inconveniencing so many people for something which anybody who is sane will know is not worth it.My mother was greatly worried about carrying the baby all the way to Takli so she must've been a relieved soul apart from the fact that she got to be with her darling granddaughter for another week. She loves her a lot, really. My father too likes the fact that the kid wants him to take her around because my son when he was small hardly got along with anybody other than my mother and his.
My daughter has got three teeth now, she's very proud of the fact that she can stand without support and walks holding the sofa. She's talking a lot of gibberish too. Her food is typically dosa/idli/upma in the morning along with some curd, raagi and rice before bath and afternoon nap, arrowroot after waking up, cooked vegetables and apple in the evening. She does not like sweet stuff whatsoever and that's probably the reason she hates Cerelac too which I bought last month keeping the journey in mind. I like it well enough so I guess I'll have to finish it now!
The trip to my in-laws' place got cancelled because of this Telangana business. I hate those idiots inconveniencing so many people for something which anybody who is sane will know is not worth it.My mother was greatly worried about carrying the baby all the way to Takli so she must've been a relieved soul apart from the fact that she got to be with her darling granddaughter for another week. She loves her a lot, really. My father too likes the fact that the kid wants him to take her around because my son when he was small hardly got along with anybody other than my mother and his.
My daughter has got three teeth now, she's very proud of the fact that she can stand without support and walks holding the sofa. She's talking a lot of gibberish too. Her food is typically dosa/idli/upma in the morning along with some curd, raagi and rice before bath and afternoon nap, arrowroot after waking up, cooked vegetables and apple in the evening. She does not like sweet stuff whatsoever and that's probably the reason she hates Cerelac too which I bought last month keeping the journey in mind. I like it well enough so I guess I'll have to finish it now!
Monday, August 29, 2011
Hibernation
Don't know how the past months have passed, really! My daughter is already 8 and a half months old, my son is about to celebrate his 7th birthday next month and I have only one and a half months to rejoin the office. One good thing is that my first maid is coming back and I can do half day for six months after joining work.
The kid is growing fast, she sits, stands holding things and at times even stands without holding anything. It is inviting trouble to leave her unattended even for some time these days. She's got two of her lower teeth too and bites everything that she can get hold of. She loves her father and brother a lot and their voices can take her out of her deepest sleep(as I realized after 15 mins of effort to put her to sleep)! She's cute, not fussy, loves to be outdoors or in the balcony but keeps catching cold thanks mostly to her brother. Her present toys hold no attraction to her and I'm at my wits end to supply her with something interesting every day. She imitates some of my actions like putting the tongue out, tightening the fist, clapping etc and can say words like "atta", "tata", "dada" etc. She wants to eat everything that I eat but her own raagi she hates the most. It's a wonder to me how she manages to resist my hand with the swift movement of her own however quickly or from whatever angle I try. She has selective stranger anxiety I must say.
My son is growing tall too - he looks easily like a 5th grader. One thing that has come about after we got busy with his sister is that he has started playing with the boys on our floor which he had always resisted before. Of course it has its own problems because since he's not used to hitting anyone, he used to get beaten by smaller boys and come home very dejected. But I guess he's mostly in control of the situation now being the eldest boy in his group and the tallest.
The kid is growing fast, she sits, stands holding things and at times even stands without holding anything. It is inviting trouble to leave her unattended even for some time these days. She's got two of her lower teeth too and bites everything that she can get hold of. She loves her father and brother a lot and their voices can take her out of her deepest sleep(as I realized after 15 mins of effort to put her to sleep)! She's cute, not fussy, loves to be outdoors or in the balcony but keeps catching cold thanks mostly to her brother. Her present toys hold no attraction to her and I'm at my wits end to supply her with something interesting every day. She imitates some of my actions like putting the tongue out, tightening the fist, clapping etc and can say words like "atta", "tata", "dada" etc. She wants to eat everything that I eat but her own raagi she hates the most. It's a wonder to me how she manages to resist my hand with the swift movement of her own however quickly or from whatever angle I try. She has selective stranger anxiety I must say.
My son is growing tall too - he looks easily like a 5th grader. One thing that has come about after we got busy with his sister is that he has started playing with the boys on our floor which he had always resisted before. Of course it has its own problems because since he's not used to hitting anyone, he used to get beaten by smaller boys and come home very dejected. But I guess he's mostly in control of the situation now being the eldest boy in his group and the tallest.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Bringing up Baby
14-Feb-2011
--------------
The first vaccination is over and as expected a tough night it was. The doctor advised us to try out the regular "Easy Five" this time and we were ready to face the fever. But we'd forgotten the pain aspect and the kid really cried badly after 2 hours kicking her thigh. It was so bad that I saw my mother crying after a very long time; I don't think she cried during my son's time. Surprisingly I didn't cry; may be I had finished my quota last time around. She was subdued for the next two days but back to normal now.
My husband is in Delhi for the Ukraine visa. Thankfully it's going to be a week's travel; I've had enough of them. My son is very upset with the thought of not having Baba around for 'so long'. I think the arrival of baby has brought them really close. It's as if my son has realized that it's only Baba who dedicates enough time for him. I'm happy for my husband; he adores his son and this is what he always wanted. I could hear the happiness in his voice when I told him how badly his son cried after he left for the airport.
The kid has started observing things around and the ceiling fan in her room is her favourite. She has started smiling now and we are all jealous of the fan because she smiles the most at that thing. Every morning when she wakes up, she would look at it and smile as if it said good morning to her!!
Many people around me are surprised that we went for the second child, me being a working woman. My colleagues have spoken it out too. I have told them it is because I want my son to have a sibling, a feeling of affection and responsibility towards the sibling and some good memories to have through that relationship. I know that I can speak more freely to my sister than my parents and the memories of our times together in childhood and later have brought many smiles to my face and I hope my son will also be as privileged. But I also think I wanted the baby for my own sake too. I mean, I had started missing holding that tiny thing and that feeling of warmth and love that comes out of you whenever you look into your baby's eyes...it's a wonderful feeling, really.
--------------
The first vaccination is over and as expected a tough night it was. The doctor advised us to try out the regular "Easy Five" this time and we were ready to face the fever. But we'd forgotten the pain aspect and the kid really cried badly after 2 hours kicking her thigh. It was so bad that I saw my mother crying after a very long time; I don't think she cried during my son's time. Surprisingly I didn't cry; may be I had finished my quota last time around. She was subdued for the next two days but back to normal now.
My husband is in Delhi for the Ukraine visa. Thankfully it's going to be a week's travel; I've had enough of them. My son is very upset with the thought of not having Baba around for 'so long'. I think the arrival of baby has brought them really close. It's as if my son has realized that it's only Baba who dedicates enough time for him. I'm happy for my husband; he adores his son and this is what he always wanted. I could hear the happiness in his voice when I told him how badly his son cried after he left for the airport.
The kid has started observing things around and the ceiling fan in her room is her favourite. She has started smiling now and we are all jealous of the fan because she smiles the most at that thing. Every morning when she wakes up, she would look at it and smile as if it said good morning to her!!
Many people around me are surprised that we went for the second child, me being a working woman. My colleagues have spoken it out too. I have told them it is because I want my son to have a sibling, a feeling of affection and responsibility towards the sibling and some good memories to have through that relationship. I know that I can speak more freely to my sister than my parents and the memories of our times together in childhood and later have brought many smiles to my face and I hope my son will also be as privileged. But I also think I wanted the baby for my own sake too. I mean, I had started missing holding that tiny thing and that feeling of warmth and love that comes out of you whenever you look into your baby's eyes...it's a wonderful feeling, really.
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