Combined Study

Anu has been giving me company in Duolingo. It's been a lot of fun so far. 

Lost Contacts

My phone fell into water yesterday night. It's gone for repair and I haven't missed it much in the meanwhile. But having not backed up my WhatsApp history, I stand to lose it if
the phone doesn't come up. Rishi is incensed with my lack of feeling on such a loss. My phone had been serving as his contact number all this while but I think now it's time to change it.



Went to Indian Music Experience today. Should leave impatient kids at home if one is serious about it. 

New

Current obsession : Duolingo. Language : Spanish.

Feeling like a nursery student. Don't really mind it.

Same Boat

I used to think I was the only one not in touch with my collegemates but I guess I was wrong. Now that I'm getting linked with people, I realise that L and I may be one of the very few people to have been friends for so long. That's kind of heartening.

High Standards

Anu : ANNa, you are the Mount Everest in our family.
Rishi : Then Baba is K2 and Aayi is Kangchenjunga.
Anu : What about me? What's next?
Rishi : You are Bedrugudde!

Our government has finally fallen. Nothing left to say.

Killing Them

"Dhoni knows when he should retire", "Tendulkar alone can take a call on when he should go"...Just how demotivating can these statements be to a cricketer waiting in the sidelines? 

Only Bhupinder.

Boxed

I went out shopping alone yesterday and bumped into a senior colleague of ours on the way. His first question was to ask why I was alone and where my husband was. I said he was at home. He didn't leave it at that, he asked me where the kids were. I said they were busy and I had to do some shopping. It left me so annoyed and I wanted to ask him if he would've subjected my husband to such interrogation too. But I didn't and I was just defensive, as if he had all the right to ask me such idiotic questions. What gives him the right to ask anybody that, anyway? You know, the day I give back to such people, I will consider myself something. 

Bitter Chocolate

I walked about one and a half kilometres today to French Loaf, braving all the pits that BBMP has dug up so casually. I mean, there is hardly any footpath left on 80 ft. Road now, killed half my happiness. But the real killer was different. I reached there, all eager to take home some chocolate croissants, when I saw a small cockroach moving in the tray. I took a while to collect myself. I haven't had even nightmares like this! I took a deep breath, pointed it to the guy sitting behind the counter and headed out. Killed my appetite for eateries for some time at least.

Does BBMP really work with any ETA? It seems that they have a very short one for opening anything but an indefinite one for closing it. And we're not doing anything about it.

Wounded

Insensitivity from your own child hits you really hard. You may do a lot of soul-searching but it's difficult to write down the answer.

Chasing the Past

I connected with MK today. We were good friends for most of the four years of college. She considered me her close friend, L was my best friend and MK and L didn't get along sometimes and they were roommates. MK may have rightly felt betrayed by me when L and I tried being roommates in the final year. Anyway, didn't happen.

I'm surprised at myself, this eagerness to connect with the past. I mean, now that we've spoken, I want to meet Pal and now MK. I'm trying hard not to look at recommendations in LinkedIn. All these years I hardly felt the need to connect with anyone. It's a scary thought that by the time I get through this phase, I may end up knowing so many people all over again.

Just Asking

The way babies have stranger anxiety, do older people have stranger affinity? May be, at some point.

Unfortunate

It's embarrassing to have to ask someone in a lift whose parent he is, when he is saying all good things about your child. But I did that. I had no choice because I had all along taken him to be the father of one of Anu's friends and he mentions that he doesn't have a girl child! I had to set the record straight. After living in the same building for ten years. 

Mothering Apprehensions

The daughter of one of our friends is getting a seat in my alma mater and he called me to check on some details. We talked and I joked that we had a beach bang opposite which should clinch the deal. He gave a nervous laugh and said he just hoped the kid would come out wiser after four years. I could understand the apprehension. I have a couple of years more to be in that place but I'm nervous already. Even Rishi is. He used to want to study in Delhi but this year he says he wants to study either in Bangalore or around Mangalore. He can't think of being too far away from home. And may be I should make him see the bigger picture but I'm not able to. But both P and I want him to live the hostel life. Anyway, we'll see when it comes to that.

Overshadowed

Rishi and I had gone to shop for groceries the other day and we had almost reached the billing counter when this 20-something girl accosted us. She was trying to sell something, I said sorry and moved on. We were in the billing queue when I heard "Excuse me, Ma'am!" behind me. It was the same girl again. She wanted to know if I was from Kerala. I've encountered this myth all through my life but I've not seen a single Malayali with hair thicker or longer than mine actually. Anyway, I said I wasn't and she predictably said it was my hair. I said okay. Next predictable question was how I managed to have such a hair(despite not being a Keralite?). I blamed it on heredity(that may be half true but it generally saves me from further half-truths). She was sad and showed me her hair which she said was falling(it was, right there) because of some health issues. I nodded my head. I thought we were almost done when she jumped, wrung her hands and said I should give her at least one tip, one clue as to what I did. I sighed and said it was coconut oil. She brightened up as if I had offered her a lifeline.Was I getting it from some village? Yes, it was from my native place. Did I get it directly from...? We got it from the oil mill. Wonderful! Did I use that oil for anything else too? She almost said yes on my behalf so I gave it to her. Yes, I did use coconut oil for some of my cooking. She was satisfied now. She shook my hand and said it was surreal that even in today's times there were people like me who followed such lifestyle. What!! I had no answer to this so I said I had no choice. What!!! Left me feeling like a near-extinct tribe or something.

All this while Rishi was standing there, fidgeting and rolling his eyes.

Wishful

I wish somebody made a movie on Lise Meitner. May be with Alicia Vikander.

"Oh, not again!", Swara groaned as she glanced at the laptop clock. She was going to be late again, picking up her daughter Sandhya from school. She'd hoped for a better start to the week. These damned calls! But she knew they weren't the ones to blame, really. She had looked at the clock only ten minutes ago and she should've started then. But she'd ignored it, as if saving these five-ten minutes would make her feel less guilty about working from home.

Anyway don't think about it now, she hurried on the road, ten minutes' run to the school. But there was something else bothering her too. What now! Yes, it was that kid Geeta, Sandhya's classmate the previous year. Sandhya was excited to befriend her initially and even Swara was taken in by the friendly, exuberant girl who could talk to anybody. Swara and Geeta's mother Surabhi had formed a bond too. Surabhi had started working as a teacher and the common struggles were the typical conversation.

Over the course of the year, Sandhya's enthusiasm towards Geeta had evaporated. Geeta was careless, she was a bully, she hit everybody in the class...and now Sandhya hardly cared to smile at her, even when they weren't classmates anymore. But Swara had retained her soft spot for the girl; she reminded her of someone from her own school days, may be more than one. She knew Geeta meant well. So she'd continued having little chats with the kid, even as Sandhya scowled at her. Silly girl!

Over the past few days, Swara had noticed that Geeta was going home on her own, no Surabhi to pick her up. She'd felt a little jealous that Surabhi could take that step. I mean, she wasn't even sure when she could let Sandhya come home alone, even if Sandhya wanted to. There were reports of a kidnapping nearby a couple of years ago and now even older boys were being escorted by their mothers. May be some of the nearby kids could come together but nobody was taking the first step.

Anyway, last Monday Geeta had walked home with Swara and Sandhya and she seemed worried when their paths forked. Swara had offered to accompany her and the girl had jumped gladly. Swara had never seen that area before and she realized the girl may have some genuine grounds for her misgivings, walking on that lonely road. There was a group of unkempt youth round a corner, some sleeping and some staring at them. Had anybody done or said anything to Geeta? The girl was evasive and only said she was just scared of people like that. They'd walked on in the sun and at the end of the road there was another group of older men talking and Geeta was again jittery. Swara didn't know what to think. May be somebody had put some fear into the kid's head.

This had repeated for a couple of more days. But on Thursday when Swara had learnt that Surabhi wasn't working anymore, she was angry. Why couldn't Surabhi pick up her daughter then? Why traumatize the kid! As if it was easy on Swara! Sandhya had begun to complain that she had toilet emergencies and that she was exhausted walking that extra half a kilometer in the sun. And it was taking 20 minutes more and leaving Swara very hungry by the time she reached home, not to mention guilty.

So on Friday she'd decided that she'd had enough. Right after Geeta had come smiling calling out to her, she'd said she couldn't drop her today. She had a call to attend to. The smile had vanished from the girl's face and she'd just nodded quietly. Swara had hurried back with Sandhya, suppressing her urge to look back.

Swara's thoughts were broken by the din of the waiting crowd and she craned her neck to spot Sandhya in the sea of children. What chaos! She couldn't see Sandhya yet. Geeta was not to be seen too. She stood on tiptoe to scan the crowd when she felt Sandhya's tug on her hand. "Who are you looking for?". Nobody, Swara said throwing one more glance back for Geeta. Where was she! On the way, a sudden fear gripped her; what if something bad happened! It couldn't be, she consoled herself. It would be too much of a coincidence.

On Tuesday Geeta had occupied her thoughts fully as Swara reached the school. She was hoping more to see her than her own daughter. But she wasn't there again. Swara began to panic now. What was happening? She looked around to see if she could spot anybody who went in their route. Nobody. She asked Sandhya if she had seen Geeta or had heard anyone talking about her. No. Swara could hardly concentrate on anything that day.

Wednesday came and Swara dragged herself depressed towards the school. What was she going to do! If indeed something had happened, how was she going to forgive herself! May be she should go to her house to check on her, strange as it may seem if things were alright. Or should she check with her teacher once? Swara was still grappling with the thoughts when the familiar "Auntie!" reached her ears. She'd not heard anything more musical! She gripped Geeta's hand eagerly, patted her head and didn't know what to say. The girl helped; it seems her family had gone to attend a wedding back home. Oh! Wonderful! Life was normal again. Swara exhaled with relief as she took both the girls and started walking home. She was going to take Surabhi's number and speak to her today.

Those Days of Life

Sunday is PN's birthday. He was my self-appointed, doting younger brother in college(he's annulled that relationship since). He was a very soft-spoken(is even now) and shy guy, friends with some noisy girls(L, SN and I). On one of SN's birthdays he'd gifted her a soft toy and when I met him the next day, he seemed like he wanted to say something. He hesitated for a while and then said he had a much bigger teddy bear in his room and he loved it. He looked embarrassed and said I'd better keep the thing a secret. This whole aspect was new to me; I was just waking up to the fact that soft toys were supposed to be a girl's best friend. They weren't mine, I was least interested in them and kept them at arm's length. And here was PN, acting as if he was committing a crime for cuddling them! He must have congratulated himself about binding me to secrecy because it took me some time to understand the stereotype.

I think it was also around this time that I learnt the word lesbian. L and I were walking in the campus one day, pally as usual. Another girl walking past us laughed and said it was good we were in India; in US we would be thought lesbians. I had to ask L to enlighten me on the meaning.

First year of Engineering was full of learning. It was also the time I thought boys were really nice people. Insecure, sensitive, friendly and helpful, just like any of us. 

Insensitive

"Priyanka Chopra has beef with Kevin Jonas' daughter" I read this somewhere and my blood went cold for a second. Pictures of mobs running behind Priyanka swam before my eyes, before I figured what it was trying to say. How can Americans use a holy word like beef so trivially!

Singin' in the Rain

Fourth sitting with the dentist and the first painless session. I felt like singing on the way home. I sang.

And then I met my downstairs neighbour while waiting for the lift. My first thought on seeing her was to wish that I became invisible or at least the lift came down quickly and swallowed me up. Actually she used to run a boutique and she'd twice asked me in the past to visit it. And of course I couldn't. And worse, the second time around she'd even mentioned that there was a discount sale and annoyed me. Anyway, the lift didn't come in time and we got in together. But gladly she no longer runs that boutique. And better, she even told me that grey hair looks good on me and I carry it well. It's the first anyone has ever said it actually; most others talk as if I've forced them to watch an ugly sight. I must tell about it to my mother, who is collectively conscious of mine and her own grey hair.

While on the topic, I must mention this new irritating habit my mother has developed. Anytime someone admires my hair for its enduring thickness and if she's anywhere in the earshot, my mother tells them that it's because I don't remove the knots properly. The first time I laughed but after repeated offenses, it's no more funny. What the hell! As if I can challenge her to do that and see! It's like some kind of defense mechanism she's putting up on my behalf. But I usually don't have to respond; the admirers take up the cudgel on my behalf.

Days in a Blur

Squeezed from all sides and days are becoming weeks and months in no time. And it's not going to get any better in the foreseeable future.

P tells me that the biggest trouble in our house is that I'm working. He usually says that when we're fighting and he wants to hurt me. I'm slowly losing the will to refute the statement. May be it is. 

Sick and Tired

How some seniors use their position to browbeat others is just disgusting. 

The Unexpected

Yeah, the second thing is that I got an award yesterday. Totally uncalled for and embarrassing. Thankfully I had no inkling and so was absent. My boss collected it on my behalf. They would've saved me a lot of inner turmoil by making it a team award, which we deserved. 

The Woman in Pain

Bad day in more ways than one. First thing, I had my third sitting of Root Canal Treatment today and the lady gave me no anaesthesia at all! May be she gave up on me. I sure did. I'm sure you don't know that helpless, uncertain, terrified and painful feeling.

Second thing will have to wait till tomorrow. All I want to do now is to get a decent one-sided sleep.

Earning the Pleasantries

Auto drivers are some of the friendliest lot. They remember you and one fine day, when you are feeling all alone in the middle of a traffic jam and looking out despondent, they flash a bright smile and ask you how you are doing. Makes you feel so much better. Oh, there may be a small price to pay, I don't know. Twenty Rupees above the meter.

Thinking of it, doctors seem to feel that "How are you?" is only a one-way traffic. I was sitting on the sofa and the dentist guy came out and said, "How are you?", all smiles. The smile was infectious, I was feeling pretty well and I said, "I'm fine! How are you?" The guy was taken aback and it took him some seconds to reply that he was fine too. Then I realized he actually meant how my teeth were doing. That's pretty disappointing actually. When will they stop seeing us as organs instead of a whole body?

My tooth hurts. Anaesthesia didn't do much today either. I'm beginning to get seriously worried.