Happy New Year!

I open my mailbox and I see a mail from MK saying that he is staying back! Great news to start the new year with and I replied to him as much. Very happy. 

Back!

Back home after visiting my in-laws. Even after so many years I'm always a little apprehensive going there because it's pretty much a shift from normalcy in many ways; weather, food, language, culture, scrutiny, privacy, mobility etc. Families are bigger, their worries and priorities are different and one feels helpless as a spectator of a long drama. To make matters worse, families are at war now and we get caught at crossroads not having taken a side yet but almost compelled to do it soon. Being out-of-touch with local news, one has to also take care not to broach up on touchy topics. It's a tight-rope walk really. I feel happy for Anu whose world revolves around her little cousin there. Rishi on the other hand is anxious as one of his cousins got chickenpox while we were there. As for me, I feel silly even to sulk after I see how hard people work and yet are so cheerful. I don't know if it lasts year-long though.

Met L at the station and it felt great, as always. 

A Long Day!

A tiring and tiresome one.

Promotion Never Comes Alone

There are two seasons where Rishi goes berserk. One is Deepavali and the other Christmas. Preparations start almost a month in advance, boxes go topsy-turvy, decorations are mended, old ones discarded and new ones bought with fanfare. But Rishi has his ways about buying things; he never demands them outright. He just leads us to the place, loiters around them, doesn't show any interest in anything else, is sulky if we ignore them and finally compels us to almost beg him to buy something. But last week he broke the protocol; he begged me to buy them. He was like, "Aayi, you know I haven't asked you for expensive things anytime in my life. This time you've even got a promotion and this thing hardly costs anything. Buy this once for me, please...". I was taken aback for a minute but was happy too. We went to Sapna and got a big star for him to take to school.

Most of the promotion news is out and Rajani says she hasn't got one. I've dreaded it somehow. I always felt our careers were similar, though she's better than me, and somehow thought we would get promoted together. We belong to different orgs within the company and yardsticks are different but every year when she asked me, I don't know if I would've been disappointed if she'd got one while I hadn't. I guess similar thought runs in her head too. She was upset when I told her about it and I know it was to do with her situation than mine.

Anu has got her spectacles. 

Blank

Yesterday was a very tough day and it still hasn't made much sense so far. I was just trying to come to terms with the news on Renu and my boss said MK was leaving and his last working day was tomorrow. What the hell! He had been very busy of late and not interacted with us for a couple of months now but he can't get up and go just like that! Boss also said nobody was very sure either. Normally I would've checked around and waited but this timing was too much for me. I pinged MK and asked him if the rumours were true. There wasn't any response except for a Hi so I thought I'd offended him. But MK is not respected for nothing - I got a mail from him this morning that something came up so he couldn't respond but he would call soon. But will you stay, MK? Please do, please. I'm ready to be terrorized over your early-morning mails for eternity.

And after all this, my boss called and said I had been promoted. I don't know if my lack of response surprised him. I have been suspecting it for a couple of months now because he has been overloading me with work, in spite of my peers being relatively free. I didn't feel a thing, to be honest. I just have too much work all around me to appreciate anything right now. I want rest. I want idle-time. I want my-time. Some time.

Losing Heart

I can't believe it, I just can't. My mother says Renu passed away two years ago! It can't be! She was 36, just a week younger than me....It's a pathetic mix of disbelief, loss, guilt and angst down here. Auntie may be mistaken about the person? Please!! The worst part is that we were twins once upon a time and today I don't even know if she is really no more.

Bad Business

Latest news is that our club next-door is going to be demolished and a school will come up in its place. There are a lot of big machines working on the land so I asked the guy at the reception. He said they were renovating the place. I asked him if the tennis courts will come back there after the renovation and he said yes. But he was smiling in a weird way when he said that so I'm not really sure now. But what, a school!!? It doesn't make sense! We already have three private schools in the radius of 100 meters and I'm not counting the fourth one, a Government school, only because it does not add to the vehicular traffic. Between 8 and 8:30 in the morning the poor road hardly has place to step on, leave alone drive and now one more school? It'd better be a night college or something! :|

Hindus and Muslims in this country can neither love nor hate each other on an individual basis I guess. I mean, we have to treat it like one whole community trying to marry or kill the other!! A Hindu guy got killed in my native by a Muslim supposedly and I've got a whatsapp message from a cousin of mine urging all Hindus to boycott any kind of transaction with any Muslim.  

Hate Speeches

I sent Anu out of the house for a few minutes yesterday after she incensed me with her lies. I hit her badly along the way too. It's the first of its kind for her but I'm not used to dealing with a lying child either; Rishi has been a good kid that way. She was refusing to tell me the truth I already knew and I guess what hurt more was breaking the myth that she was in my control, as everyone claims in my family. Anyway today somehow the topic came up and she said she hated me for making her stand outside. She said it in such a matter-of-fact way while cuddling me that I just nodded.

It's time to change the kids' menu I guess.

Me   : Anu, I'm giving you puliyogare for lunch today.
Anu : I hate it!
P :    : Ani, hate is a very strong word.
Anu : I know, that's why I used it! 

The Grey Matter

My hair is almost touching the knee now. I've never grown it this long and now I'm wondering if I should just continue or cut it. 

The Need for Speed

Lesson of the day, which I'm loath to learn it seems - Do not get into music and lyrics early in the morning. Everybody will happily participate in the discussion but when 8 strikes and friends knock on the door and the lunchbox is not yet ready, brickbats are only and all yours. 

In a Bubble

We watched Coco yesterday. Yet another safe and happy movie for us. I guess if P was willing, we would've watched it twice back-to-back. But I'm disappointed that I can't remember anything to sing from the movie, considering it was about music.

I've weaned myself away from my phone. But that was all thanks to my addiction to something else. Time to get addicted to something better now.

There is happiness bubbling inside; I've gotten into a new module which I always wanted to but had hesitated before. Even now it's not that I've volunteered to it but I've been pushed to it because of sheer necessity. But yet, I'm feeling good, I'm feeling confident already. I've been singing.

Stuck in a Loop

Sanjay Leela Bhansali's tunes are repeating. So much so that I've begun to wonder if it is deliberate.