Lost

A bad day by most counts. They gave us the bonus today. Though it was known it wouldn't be great, though I worked only 1/4th of last year on account of leaves, I'm feeling quite wretched about it. Bloody hell! I hate to be in this state of mind. Hope it doesn't last the weekend. Guess not.

The ducks in my lake are all missing. There were a lot of stinking feathers on the bank today and I guess some devils ate them off. Some feel happy just by looking at them and some feel happy at the thought of eating them. Life is like that!

My friend is missing too. Last time around Sir was also trying to locate her but this time I don't think so. I joined FB on account of her only but as usual forgot about writing to her once I thought she was up and running again. I'm feeling so guilty and worried now! What do I do? How do I find if she is fine? Would she have told me about her troubles had I been in constant touch? Why didn't I do that? If I find her again, I'll never stop writing to her regularly. Please!!

To be or not to be...

Will our society ever accept the decision not to be a parent as naturally as the desire to become one? Or will one have to escape from this society itself like some of the people I know? When even people like my mother talk about the need to continue the family line, it is more annoying. Her argument was that since the guy in question is the only son to his parents(he has a sister,though.), he should at least have one child. I wanted to ask her two questions - What if that only child happens to be a girl? By her own logic, wouldn't that be the end of the family? And I was so irritated by this male and female business that I wanted to taunt her by asking how come she didn't go for a son considering that she has stopped our family line by having only two girls. But I left it alone. As such I have enough arguments with her and she doesn't seem to think my way anyway.

Seeing the life of working mothers, I don't wonder that many ladies don't want to fall into that category. There would be sleepless nights for all sorts of reasons, there will be headaches, heartaches, frustration, limited freedom and all that. But I can only say in defense that it will also bring forth in you emotions which you never experience otherwise. Children also bring you so many joys, make you more human, make you feel superhuman at times and it's a different spectrum of feelings altogether.

My son has a long way to go to become worldly-wise. The other day he told me,"Aayi, you know, Vedant is my best friend!". Now, I know this boy but of late I hadn't heard anything about him though. So I asked him how it came about. He says, "I had taken two badminton rackets to school today. Vedant asked me for one and I said no. He said, 'Won't you give it even to your best friend?' and that's when I came to know he is my best friend!!". He was looking so happy, I just laughed.

Rainy Day

What rain today! As if the pent up clouds couldn't take it anymore and burst out suddenly, it's raining like cats and dogs, complete with lightning and thunder. It'll of course make our stinking garbage piles even worse. It's as if we are just sitting and waiting for an epidemic to break out.

I think today's women are really superwomen. They may be teased by Romeos on the road, their pretty dresses may be stained with paan spat on by sadistic drivers(it happens in Hyderabad), they may be thrown out of moving trains by merciless devils, they may be harassed verbally or physically at home or work, but they go on with their work from morning to night, everyday. As I walk towards office every morning, I meet so many of them; a young lady pushing a fruit-cart, a middle-aged one chanting some hymns on the way to her office, an older one pushing the garbage-cart, mothers carrying their young ones to school, group of young ladies from north Karnataka talking animatedly and looking very sunny as they go towards their construction-site, house-maids of all hues walking briskly towards work, ladies in shops smiling benignly as if they know everyone who crosses their shops, teachers of government and private schools trying their best to keep the bunch of kids in order, women like me and so on and I feel so proud of them. I smile at some of them everyday and I feel we understand each other's aspirations and hopes well.

If my mother saw this, she would complain that like everybody else, I too have forgotten the homemakers. But no, that's not true. I know that is much tougher than a lot of outside jobs and many of us are just happy to get out of it and have some 'free' time for ourselves in the office.

"BarabaruTTa Raayana Kudure KaTTe"(As time passed, Royal horse became a donkey) was a favourite phrase of our teachers in school to reprimand someone who was slipping and I have to use it towards my daughter now.She is learning new words very fast and the first thing she has learnt to use effectively is Beda!(No). A month ago, if I asked her to switch on/off a fan or a light, she would do very willingly. Now the novelty of it seems to have worn off and she's asking me to do it!!!

A Day in the Life of a Lady

When S asked me what the plans for a long weekend were, I gave him a long list but I knew fully well that it was more of a wishlist than what I was really going to do. He must be wondering how I always talk about reading, watching movies instead of spending time with my children but in reality it's just the opposite. Here is a sample of how my weekend went -

Wake up at 6:45 a.m.. My daughter too wakes up, of course. Read newspaper for about 15 mins. Brush and other things, oblige my daughter to roll on the bed for another 10 mins. Next to the kitchen to heat milk, cut the vegetables and prepare my son's favourite pasta. Prepare ragi to drink for myself, father and my daughter. Serve pasta to all, feed my daughter and then myself. Prepare tea for my husband, milk with chocos for my son. Wash the first lot of utensils, arrange things so as to sweep the floor, mop it and put the garbage out. The time by now is about 10 a.m., it really flies! Next up is cleaning the toilets and bathrooms. Put the cleaning liquid, soak the coloured clothes for washing. Feed some ragi to my daughter and try unsuccessfully to make her drink milk. Wash the vegetables that have been brought home the previous day and dry them. Wash the coloured clothes and the toilets. By this time my father leaves for my sister's house, my husband and son go for swimming and the time is 11:30. There is a call that the water-filter maintenance chap is coming home so I start off with cooking in a hurry but my daughter is not happy to find the house suddenly empty. To pacify her I prepare her favourite Arrowroot ganji but soon after finishing that she starts off with next round of complaints and demands which are mostly about either following other members of the family or rolling on the bed which of course I have no time for. I clean the palak leaves as quickly as I can(it's a real pain) and put the cooker on. Switch on the geyser and then get into preparation of sambar masala. My daughter has raised the pitch by now but there is nothing much I can do; the filter fellow will be home any minute, my father will reach home in a while and I haven't finished cooking yet. I somehow manage to cut the capsicum for the palya and grind the masala before relenting to my daughter's cries to put her to sleep. She has almost dozed off when the bell rings; it is the filter guy of course. Thankfully my daughter gets busy looking at the newcomer and forgets about her loss of sleep while I create space for the fellow to work. My father arrives and I'm glad to submit my daughter to his care and finish the cooking. Filter fellow leaves, I prepare sambar and curry and feed my daughter. By this time my father has finished his bath and I force him to start off with lunch without my husband and son; they hardly realise the time when they are inside the pool. By the time I give my daughter a bath they have arrived and when I finally put her to sleep, all except me are done with the food and the time is 2:45 p.m. I finish my food, wash the second round of utensils and my daughter is up. I put her off to sleep again but as usual sleep off myself in the process. Not for long though, because my headbath is at the back of my mind and I wake up hurriedly towards the bathroom. By the time I'm out, the time is 4:30 and I hardly have the time to run water and load the clothes in the washing machine before I start off with proceedings for the evening tea. Tea and snacks done, my father goes out for the evening walk with his friend and after the business of washing machine is over the rest of us go out to the nearby market. Buy sundry things and hurry home just at the nick of time; it is a sudden and heavy rain. My husband has come back from the pool with a bad cold so I make him do the steam-inhalation. It is 7:30 already and I have to hurry with the cooking again. Put the cooker on, make another curry, prepare buttermilk, make the chapati dough, feed my daughter, prepare chapatis, brush my daughter through her fierce protests, put her to sleep and I'm glad to have my dinner in front of the TV to watch my favourite South Africans giving a hard time to the English Bowlers. It doesn't matter that there is a huge load of utensils waiting for me or that I haven't dried the whole load of clothes yet, I finish it all quite energetically much to my surprise and clean up the kitchen and clean up the cleaning clothes. It is 11:30 but you see that I'm not done yet!!

Beauty and the Beholder

This week has been pretty eventful but mostly for wrong reasons. Over the weekend we realized all of a sudden that my son had trouble seeing the blackboard and that he indeed had trouble reading from far. Took him to the doctor and he's got myopia and a pair of glasses now. Initial shock has sort of worn off now and my son looks happy in his glasses. Actually I think we discovered his problem at least now only thanks to the fact that he is a backbencher.

Then my daughter fell sick over the weekend with stomach upset and a fever and the fever subsided only yesterday. As in the past, she is very irritable and hardly moves an inch without me. Only the inducement of playing outside, which she didn't want to leave even in the middle of her fever,  has taken her out with her father now.

Beauty really lies in the eyes and more so, in the mind of the beholder. It is amazing how even an ordinary face transforms into a beautiful one when viewed through the lens of familiarity, friendship and love. The same is conversely true too; you may find fault with even the most perfect face if you don't like its owner, though my firsthand experience is only with the first type and not the converse.

There was this ethnic wear day yesterday and naturally all the youngsters were enthusiastic participants and also they were expecting me to be a veteran in a saree just because I'm the married one. Of course I told them I'm not greatly in favour of it because I cannot walk fast as I normally do but now I've decided I'm going to wear saree at home at least once in a while.

Springing a Surprise

My father has discovered friends away from home and possibly the ones he had never imagined to meet this way. One of them was his senior in high school and another was his roommate nearly 40 years ago! The latter is in our building itself and they have become companions again. Imagine meeting someone after 40 years and that too accidentally one fine morning! I think the only person I met after a long time, that too in a place somehow I never expected was M and it was a surprise to me that I could recognize him at all. I knew he was working in Hyderabad but I never expected him to stay in the same lane as myself!

Why is having an offspring or not be anybody's decision other than yourself? It is a very important thing in one's life but is that the only important thing in life? If you see the way many of us behave when we see or hear about someone not having a kid after about 5 years of marriage, it is very irritating. Of course mothers on either side will be behind their life but most of the times, it is the adhoc population in their society that pushes them to do so. First thing the elderly ladies ask when they think of the other's son/daughter is if there is any 'good news'. If the answer is yes, they don't bother to ask anything more about that person other than when the due date is. If no, they will condole it, inquire as to what is possibly causing the delay and end up as if the mother has sinned in not urging her child to produce an offspring in time! Why the hell does it matter to them? As if they are going to raise the child! Actually I think men are much better - I don't think they hound other men this way. What ails women? What fun do they get this way?

Cast in Caste

Sushil Kumar Shinde is our new home minister and every interviewer has made it a point to talk about the fact that he is a Dalit. Why? Why does it matter whether he is a Dalit or a Brahmin or a Muslim or something else? Why should the first thing that strikes us about a person be his caste? For how long are we going to be like this? I wish at least Sushil had taken offense at the reference but no, he took it very naturally. Alas!

We are asked to analyze the issues and come out with some brainwaves to reduce them. Now it all boils down to how much each team should take the blame on itself while of course pointing out everything that the other side didn't do. We are creating two or even three rival companies within one company!